I was thinking about how musicians experience, deal with, and resolve issues of power on the bandstand to see if there was a way we could better understand power in our lives. What I learned is that we experience power differently. Leader. There is a leader who has the function of organizing and maintaining order of the group. That lead is designated as the leader by the group. That leader may delegate their power to another person for a moment, but the accountability remains with the designated leader.Front Person (setting dependent). There is a person who is responsible for leading the experience of the audience - the front person. That person commands, curates, and cultivates the crowd’s interactions with the band and within the crowd. That person could have a leadership task, but might not be the “Leader”. Side musicians. Side musicians are accountable for consistently and effectively executing their parts and to serve their basic functions in the group. Though they, like the front person, may have a leadership task, they take their cues from the Leader. Things go wrong when any one of the above decide they are more important than the whole. A musician plays too much - imagine someone at a meeting that doesn’t leave room for others;A player attempts to outshine the Front Person - “one upmanship” at its finest. It’s annoying.The Leader power trips - it’s the same in music - tyrannical and abusive (listen to the Buddy Rich tapes).What can we glean from the experience of musicians? How might what we learn impact us now? Every thing in nature has a function - to do something - understand the function of things. Activists, politicians, judges, leaders, team members, executives - they all have functions. Leaders are designated. Someone is designated with the accountability of leadership. Know what your leaders are responsible and accountable for - and hold them to account. (Same goes for you). Talk less and listen more. The most effective bands listen the best.Lift others up. The musicians I call role models know (and knew) how to lift up those around them. Our power is our ability to come alive, bring “our thing” to the culture, be self-accountable for what we decide to do and how, to not speak, and show that love to others.

When you’re making food together with another, it’s literally a combining of culture. Food is intimate. It’s what we put in our bodies - and many of us are careful and thoughtful in our food preparation. Imagine that person who needs to command and control the kitchen, or the one that is a total disaster. But when we invite others to cook with us, we momentarily set aside those differences to make something together - a blend of culture, taste, and traditions. Solve interpersonal people problems by making food together. And if you don’t want to be literal, imagine all of the things you can do that are like that:Solving a problem - puzzles, strategy games, an actual work problem;Make music (if you have that skill);Listen to music;Take a hike and perhaps forage;Exchange books that you genuinely intend to read and discuss;I’m not trying to suggest trite and light activities. I’m suggesting any activity where there might someone might have developed a set way of doing things - a culture. The activities could even spark controversy - discussing religion, politics, or sports. The goal is to find activities that allow you to suspend judgment and deeply see the world from someone else’s eyes. For me, it happens to be cooking food.

There’s a Bible verse that reminded me that progress and outcomes require individual action. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” - Matthew 7:7-8If the Bible isn’t your thing, perhaps the Tao of Nike might be: “Just do it.”Be it Biblical or commercial - the wisdom is the same: change comes from action. What will you do with what you have in front of you now?

What if we re-thought interviews? What if instead of asking questions like, “tell me about a time that you didn’t tell a customer what they needed to hear and instead told the customer something to make them feel good,” we do this…Give an idea. “Here’s the big idea I have… the question I’m trying to solve… the big hairy and outrageously audacious goal…”Be like Prince: “Now, what are you going to come up with? What can you bring? What’s your thing in this?” Stop and listen. Be curious.That map might work not only for job interviews but for any type of interview: getting others to be part of your project, helping to create enrollment from people who give you money, or trying to get people (kids even) to do things for you. Heck, I might use it with my nephew! Food for thought.Inspired by yesterday’s post.

When you’re surrounded by an overwhelming mess, don’t try to solve for the mess.Just pick up one piece, then another, and then another.

I find that others, and myself, get most frustrated when the person we end up being is different than the person we expect ourselves to be. Are you like us?Instead of getting frustrated, start reconciling the difference. Who do you expect yourself to be at your best and worst? What type of leader do you expect yourself to be?How does an artist like you deal with defeat?How does a friend like you value others in your life? Create that picture in your mind. Then, when things go off the rails - because they will, we’re human - reconcile the difference. Where is the gap between where I was and where I expected myself to be? Then act. Take accountability, improve what you can do, and do it again.That gap between where we expect ourselves to be and where we are is freedom. Freedom to reflect, decide, and effectively act. On the flip side, it’s also the freedom to fail and act recklessly.

After three conversations in the last 72 hours with wildly different people, I am convinced more than ever that when people are seeking certainty they are actually seeking clarity. To help others realize that I used this example:Imagine you’re in a room that’s pitch black.“Would you rather:Take a step and know that there was ground to step on? Or,Be able to shine on a light on the ground in front of you to see what’s there?”Option 1 was selected more than 2 - no surprises. I then asked:“If you don’t know for certain, then how can you step?”Most people answered, “I couldn’t. I would be stuck.”“What if you shined a light? Would you still be stuck?”

They matter - and when you get used to them they become like an addiction. And when you stop them suddenly, like an addiction, you go through withdrawal. Just a proof that the most important thing we can do, when we commit, is show up - consistently.As I think about it… perhaps “routine” is not the right word. A routine is only the end product of the bigger thing we need to do - commit. Perhaps what we crave is people in our lives who commit - commit to showing up, to serve, to do the thing we need them to do, to make the change only they can make. When others say to you, “you need to commit to a routine,” what they’re actually saying is, “why are you so afraid of showing up?”

Creating clarity is like turning on a flashlight in a dark room - it illuminates what’s in front of you.Desiring certainty is like wanting to walk blindfolded in a kid’s toy room and not trip over anything. Certainty is a fallacy - it’s a fallacy that doesn’t help you solve problems - blind hope.Clarity creates the space to solve problems, make decisions, and act. It’s that hopeful feeling you get in your gut when you say, “maybe this might work.”Effective leaders create and seek clarity and downplay the need for certainty.HT to Admired Leadership for today’s inspiration and the conversations it enabled me to have with others.