Your muscles need to be broken in order to regrow stronger - that’s the gym is for.Your scales need to be slower before they can be faster - that’s what the metronome is for.You need to practice coaching before you can be a coach - that’s what mentoring is for.You need to work on yourself so that you can model good behavior to a kid - that’s what your time is for.Development and growth come from practice.If you stick with it, your practice will give you results.Stick with it.

What is a good and healthy mind for?Does what you’re doing right now help cultivate a good and healthy mind?If not, what small tweak can you make now so that you can cultivate a good and healthy mind? Will you do it? Can you imagine how much more happier and effective you could be if you only made a small improvement?If so, how might you do more of this? Can you leave space for more of this to happen in your day? Where would that space be? What keeps you from adding it now?Discipline your mind through thoughtful and intentional self-reflection.Then, commit to and do the work to make life better.Simple as that.

People like us don’t want to feel corrected, we want to be effective.We want to look back and be able to say: “Hey, I did it, it worked, and it worked better than I thought.“Help people be more effective.Here’s how:Leave space. Let people show you their work and don’t judge.Be curious. Identify where someone is trying to go with their work. Ask questions like, who is this for? what is this for? what change does this seek to make? why are you hoping those you seek to serve will care about that change?Connect the dots. Help someone bridge the gap from where they are now to where they are trying to go.But what if you’re a leader and the work is all wrong?What makes the work wrong? Did the employee create the work for a different audience than what was intended? If so, is that on you? How could you have created better alignment? Is the work of poor quality? What might be improved? Help the person cultivate a sense of good taste.But what if the person is clearly unskilled?Are they doing the right job? Did you hire for the skills you needed? It’s possible that this isn’t the right job for that employee. Perhaps this is a stretch project? If so, that’s okay then. Come alongside that person and help them develop the right skills.People like us want to believe we are doing our best work and that it makes a difference.If you want to get really good at giving feedback, stop calling it feedback.Instead, start calling it “optimization”.Does this help you become more effective?

Two lights are lit. They signal opportunity.The two lights are positioned above two distinct lanes.In each lane is someone like you.Someone just trying to get through and get home.Like you, they don’t want to wait.Like you, they are hoping the person attending to the line moves fast.Like you, they did the dance you are about to do:Which grocery check out line do you join?Think about the data points that people like you consider when it comes to check out lines:Who is in front of me?Are they holding their wallet out now or are they fishing for it?Are they the type of person who will talk with the cashier?Did they purchase the whole store?Who is the cashier?Are they clearly getting paid by the hour?Are they chit-chatting?Does the conveyor belt appear to be moving the items along a fast pace? Which line has a better looking conveyor belt?But I think the most important decision is…“If I get into Line A, and Line B moves faster, should I switch?“What is the risk of picking a lane and staying in it?Why put so much effort into a check out line?What if we re-invested that level of executive strategic decision making into how we spend our time once we’re home?

You said “yes” to reading these words. What did you say “no” to?You are saying “yes” to spending time at your job, but what are you saying “no” to?You are saying “yes” to your team taking a new project, but what are you (and your team) saying “no” to?You are saying “yes” to fast food, but what are you saying “no” to?You are saying “yes” to indulging your compulsions, but what are you saying “no” to?The question is a strategic one that consultants use all the time. But the question is so much more powerful.The question empowers you.Empowering you to re-assess and re-decide and iInviting you to take new action.What will you say “yes” to next?

Have you thought about quitting a job? More than that, have you thought about quitting even though you don’t have something to jump to? What are you so afraid of?If you know that you’re afraid but don’t know what you’re afraid of, consider questions.Are you afraid of making a decision?If I stay, what is the real challenge for me at work that keeps me from feeling effective?What is the real challenge for me in communicating a desire to move on? What is the real challenge for me in deciding to move on?How is this job keeping me from getting to do more work that matters to me?Are you afraid of not knowing what you’ll do next?What if I could be free? How might I feel having total freedom to decide what’s next? Why am I so afraid of being free?Do I have enough money to survive without a job? How might I save up more so that I’m in a safe position? How much more will I have to say?How will I survive without a job? Can I reduce expenses and simplify my life more? How might I enjoy a simple life? What more could I learn about myself and how I use my time and my resources?Are you afraid of how others will respond?Why do I care what others think of me sticking up for myself? How might I show them how to be happy for me?Do others live my life? Will they be in my grave with me when I cease to exist? If the answer is no, why do I care so much for their opinion?How might I use this as a way to show people how much they mean to me?Fruit is always ripest before it falls.The journey is always most fun just before the end.We have much to look forward to as move on to the next chapters in our life. But what keeps us from enjoy that moment is fear.Use questions to help outline the fear that’s in front of you.Trace it’s shape.Once you can see it, you can do something with it.

If you want to show people how much you appreciate them, don’t say thanks.Don’t tell them that you appreciate them.Show them.The person you are now is not the person you were yesterday.The people, places, and things you interacted with days past shaped who you are now.How did those people, places, and things shape you? What did they show you?How did they challenge you?Appreciate people better by showing them how they challenged you to be a better person today.What we want to see is that we can make a difference.A way to see that is through someone else showing us what we did.

The pressure you’re putting on yourself isn’t helping you. It’s also not helping the people you seek to serve. What we need from you is to consider the problem from all angles with the time you have, make a decision, and act. There will always be time to reconsider the result of your decision from all angles, make a decision, and act again.Release the pressure.

Yes. Absolutely.Answer these questions:Would you let your best friend treat you like shit? Walk over you? Talk down to you? Make you feel less than a human?Would you overly criticize every little thing that your best friend does? What they wear? How they talk? How they walk? How they show up? How they think?Would you allow anybody to talk to you the way you talk to yourself?If the answers to the above are “no” you are well on your way. What’s next?Treat yourself better. Accept things as they are. Be able to say and mean, “I messed that up, and it’s okay. I’ll get 1% better next time”.Grant yourself grace. “I’m a work in progress. I know that. Nobody asks me to be perfect. They ask me to do my best. If I fail, great, now I know how to do better.“Love yourself. Practice what you preach. If you wouldn’t let anybody talk to you the way you talk to you, then stop talking to yourself that way.Easier said than than done, right?Yes, you’re right. Nothing worth believe in and doing ever is.In fact, we should be wary of anything that promises easy returns.What to do?Practice. Each day practice. Try to get 1% better.Be thoughtful about one more decision.Think one second longer before speaking in one conversation.Accept one more thing about yourself.Practice being a better you.You’ve got this.

The Music Director (MD) of a theater show is at the center of the noise - lots of noise.All at the same time, a MD is:Watching the stage;Cue’ing singers to make their entrance;Cutting off choruses;Listening for balance;Cue’ing musicians to enter;Cutting musicians off;Maintaining balance across the orchestra/band;Playing their own part;Listening for cues to start the next song,Listening for cues to finish the vamp;Making notes for future shows;Wondering if the sub that’s playing the keyboard 2 book ever took a lesson;Thinking who will play the keyboard 2 book after they fire the sub; andNot saying a word.The MD stays at the center of it all.She never gets too far ahead.She stays present, calm, and still.Waiting for the next cue.