If you learn improv acting, you will likely learn the technique called “yes, and…“Person A: “It’s a horrible day out.“You: “Yes, and it’s great that we get to appreciate it.“Person A: “But I don’t want to appreciate it. I want to stay home.“You: “Yes, and at home you get to stay warm…”… you see how this goes.Well, what if we used that technique for getting over any problem? And what if that technique helped us get over those problems ridiculously fast? … if we practice.Here’s the scenario.Your boss calls. They have criticize your work, and you start feeling the pressure - perhaps you didn’t deliver enough? Maybe this is their way to get rid of you? What about all of the other work you’ve been doing? Didn’t they notice that?Can you relate to that feeling?Now, after your boss gives you feedback you say to yourself: “Yes, it’s unfortunate that I got this feedback, and I am fortunate that I am not harmed by it.“Or, perhaps someone gets under your skin with a comment they make about/towards you. That comment really stings. You are bothered. Yes, it’s unfortunate that they made their comment, and I am fortunate that I am not harmed by it.What I like about this approach is that, like improv, it keeps the scene (read: life) in motion. No stopping to brood or think about how upset we should be about something that never physically hurt it. Instead, we acknowledge and then move - “yes, and…“During your next internal crisis, try it out.Yes, and…

Jazz musicians, after playing the melody, will take a solo. Put simply, they compose a piece on the spot. It is our hope, as the supporting musicians, that the soloist will compose a piece that sounds similar to the melody, uses similar harmony, and compliments the style of music being played by the rest of the band. When that musician finishes improvising, they hand off to another musician.The amateur listener will experience several minutes of musical ideas that may, or may not, sound like they make sense - it’s just nice to listen to. But the attentive listener gets to enjoy a conversation across the band. Ideas being traded between one musician and another. Ideas being being born, developed, evolved and destroyed.The life cycle of a riff, of an idea, starts inside the musician - it’s conceived. The musician then nurtures the riff in their head until it’s ready to be shipped to the world - born. When the musician plays the idea, it is shipped. Now, the musician enjoys the responsibility of nurturing the idea.With the help of their band mates the musician takes the idea and grows it. Adding new ideas upon it, removing the old ones. Like nature, an unelegant evolution that’s bombastic and caustic. Eventually another musician picks up on the idea, takes it, destroys it, and births their own.I have been thinking a great deal on what it means to live and lead a fulfilled life. Perhaps it’s not about being “happy,” but instead it’s about birthing, nurturing, and shipping something that’s worth something for someone else.What if happiness could be like a solo? Giving birth to an idea only to see it taken by someone else and made better.Want some inspiration? Listen to Miles Davis’ First Miles album here. It was Miles’ idea of how jazz might evolve, but it was the smallest of an idea. Years later, Miles would evolve the idea of jazz into new and unknown ways.What idea will you give birth to?

Honestly, if this wasn’t a rule, it should be. The rule is: listen. The first rule of music is to listen.You cannot create anything with your instrument if you cannot listen. Hear what’s happening around you, hear the music inside your mind, listen to how the other musicians are playing around you, listen to how your audience wants to be entertained.Listening is the key.If you listen well enough, you actually get to play less. That’s a good thing! The goal is not to over play, but only play what’s needed. What’s the minimum amount of contribution you can make that creates the most value? In tech, we call this the minimum viable product (MVP), but in music we simply say “leave space.“Listening is the key to a noise-free life.If you listen to what’s happening around you, and really listen - don’t listen/judge, you will know better where to focus your time and attention.Phone ringing, news is blaring, dog is barking, kid just got home, the neighbors kids are running around - so much stimulus. Listening allows us to pin point the thing that matters. It’s invites us to choose to spend time greeting and being with our kid.Listening is the key to being a great leader.So many leaders come to their teams with ideas of how things should be now that they’re in charge. A great listener listens to their team and asks the team to suggest the next move - less is more.Listening is the key…. to de-cluttering the world around you and only doing the most essential work.

Yes! Yes I did.In fact I had great sleep!Creating an outline of what I was fearing allowed me to shine a light on the proverbial monster in my closet - it made the monster real. Then, because it was real I could deal with it. How did I deal with it?First, I understood the short and long-term implications of my decisions and decided I could accept them.Second, I wrote about it to you. Writing helped. The physical and mental activity of writing is almost like my body’s way of using the energy - doing something with it.Third, I went to bed. But when my mind started to think about the problem, I opened my journal and wrote out my thoughts. Eventually, I drained my brain of thoughts to write about. When my brain was drained of thoughts to physicalize, I fell asleep. That process might have kept me up an additional 20 minutes more than normal.Today, I woke up feeling pretty dang good! So much so that I wanted to write you about this topic rather than other ideas I have brewing in the ol’noggin.I hope it helps.

I have to make a tough decision - whether to do something or not. I have to weigh how my decision will impact others. I have to communicate that decision to people. I have to consider how that decision will impact my personal life. What will happen if I decide wrong?At least that’s how my thinking started out. Then I stopped, and took a breath.What is it that I have to make?I get to make a decision to do something.Who is the decision for?The decision is for me.What is the decision for?The decision is for choosing what I do.What are the implications of the decision?None that can’t be overcome.Then, why am I so afraid of it?I guess I am not.I can make the decision, ship it to the people who need to know it, and go on living my life.What caused so much anxiety?I didn’t stop to define what I needed to do, who it was for, what it was for, and what happens as a result of it. I was scared of how others might perceive my decision. But that perception ultimately doesn’t matter, life will go on.I learned three things from this problem that I recently solved.Creating an outline of what I fear helps. Can’t color in what you don’t see. You don’t get better at being an artist unless you ship your work. And,Someone who makes decisions, makes art.

Imagine that you’re reading this blog and that you also have a laundry list of tasks, priorities, issues, concerns, risks, people, organizations, fundraisers, parties (virtual ones too), meetings, 1 on 1s, presentations, sales, gigs, or recording sessions to design, prepare, meet on, plan, attend, care for, reflect on, or worry about.Now that you’re imaging that… imagine yourself just wanting to get away from it all. What does that look like? Is it a vacation? A week off? Some time for yourself somewhere other than here?What if time for yourself could happen at any time, anywhere, even right here and right now? And if you can say “okay” to that, consider this dead smart guy’s 3-step approach to having that “time for yourself.“Go to a place where you can sit, exist, and focus on your breathing, then ask yourself:Am I able to be myself and be honest - be straightforward - now and after I’m done with this? No? Remain with #1 until you can. Yes? Go to #2.Is what is bothering me actually (read: literally) physically hurting me? Yes? Call 911 now. No? Go to #3.What is bothering me is not physically hurting me, therefore what it is bothering me is a perception. Can I accept that I am in a small place that exists upon a huge planet which is in an even huger universe and that at any time it all could go away? Yes? You’re ready. Stop and return to the world. No? You didn’t answer #1 honestly - go back and this time be honest with yourself.Pro tipNobody is trying to do the wrong thing.Doing the right thing demands patience.Keep your mouth shut - you had your moment with yourself - you escaped - now it’s time to move on. (Literally the best piece of advice I have ever received and don’t follow enough… ask anybody that knows me.)Many thanks to dead smart guy, Marcus Aurelius, for the 3-steps and the bonus reminders ;-)

First, having worked with many hundreds of jazz musicians, they all would be surprised to find a post like the one I’m about to share with you. But it’s true!Jazz musicians - or any musician who plays an improvisatory style of music - are extremely productive.To make improvised music, here’s what you must do, this is the secret:Be totally in the present.That’s it.You must be totally in the “here and now”.If you cannot be “in the moment,” here’s what happens:Classical music ;-) (“ha ha” to the classical musicians/music teachers who read the blog - that was just a joke)The song and the others will literally pass you by.You will quickly find yourself lost - and you will feel lost. You might literally ask, “Where am I? Where are we?” And someone will respond, “we are here. where are you?“The piece will collapse. It will collapse because the unit is not “together” - someone is somewhere else.Art will not be made - the audience won’t find value in the work. How could they? The group wasn’t together - someone was somewhere other than “here.“So how do jazz musicians overcome the obstacles that take us out of “now”?Listen. We are constantly listening to what’s going on around us - we are hyper aware of “now.“Improvise - put the “jazz” in jazz. Instead of reacting, we might choose to stop, listen, and find a way to contribute to the piece so that we can orientate ourselves.We make the obstacle the contribution. When an obstacle gets in the way - someone gets lost, makes a mistake, or something else - we embrace it! We go with it. Singer comes in early? Great, let’s join the singer! (Not that that ever happens). Paddy missed a beat? Cool, let’s find a creative way to get us back on beat - yay, we created something!The ultimate, power-packed, never-fail way to crushing the obstacles that are getting in the way of work that matters, is you deciding to embrace the obstacles, leverage them, and make them part of your work.If you can do that, you could have a career in jazz.You just better enjoy a ramen noodles only diet. ;-)

Before reading on… first think of all the things that are keeping you up at night. Go on.All of them.Now… imagine that you die immediately after reading this post. After you have left us, will those things still be as important as you are making them out now? Will they eventually get worked out?

“It’s not really about me, it’s about who I am a part of.” - Dad

Dad is aging - he’s got Alzheimer’s and he’s degrading - that’s what sometimes happens. And it’s okay. He won’t be the last person to have it, and he’s not the first. And if you live with somebody who has Alzheimer’s, you’ll notice they have these moments of total clarity and profoundness. I had that moment the other day.

I am terrible at coloring in the lines. “But David, " you say, “that’s a skill you learn in kindergarten.” So is “following directions” and I still don’t do that well.This post is not about following directions, or why I still haven’t learned kindergarten lessons. It’s about fear… and coloring books.My mother is a problem-solver, and this post is not a knock on her. It’s about me. A few days ago, I got sick. My mother - because she’s the best mom in the world - called me to check in. When I woke up from nap 7 (of seemingly 20) I noticed she called and called her back.My mother is a problem-solver.“Well, did you get a booster? You know Walgreens does free delivery? Are you going to the place your sister told you about?“Those questions come from the most loving of places. But at that time, all I wanted was to talk with my mom. I didn’t have a problem to solve, it was being solved. But… the call made me anxious.So, how does this connect with the coloring book?I didn’t create a border for my mom to color in.Instead, I thought of questions like: why was I responding this way to someone who loves me so much? Why is this getting to me? Why am I stressing out about this call? What am I so afraid of?My therapist, shout out to Dr. Mike, had one time told me that emotions are chemical reactions, and his words were coming into the foreground of my thoughts as I was trying to understand why my mom’s call bothered me.I realized that the reaction was a stress reaction. Biologically, my brain perceived a threat, sent cortisol piping through my veins, created a bit of inflammation, and prepared me to run away from the tiger. Wow!And this was all because I - I - failed to set an expectation for my mom that all I wanted from her was a “hey, how are you? I loved your last blog post. Okay… now drink plenty of fluids and call me tomorrow.” And as a result of failing to set an expectation - to create the border for my mom to color in - I didn’t set up my mom (or I for that matter) for success. Instead, she was coloring blind.Don’t color blind, know where the borders are.Fear is a feeling from needing to feel the safety of expectation, but expectation is not there.If I would have drew an outline of what I was hoping for when my mom started to problem-solve, I would have given my mom the instruction book she needed to be the best and most effective she could be. She colored blind - she didn’t know where the borders were.Do you know where the borders are?Part of leveraging fear (and I use that term broadly) is defining it - to “trace it’s outline” as Marcus Aurelius would write. And, when you trace an outline of the thing that keeps you up at night, a mild annoyance, a careless neighbor, or yourself (as was the case) you enable yourself (and others) to come alive and be their most effective selves.Thanks for bearing with me today - I know it was a longer post.