I believe, based purely on my observations, that a challenge for a people manager is helping their team define their fear. What do I mean?Individual Contributors are trying to do the work that’s asked of them and achieve a result in a way that causes them little-to-no-stress and (hopefully) helps them earn their bonus. Also, they likely care deeply for their work and their outcomes. But they’re also scared.They’re scared of giving you “real” feedback. They’re scared of telling you what’s really up with their book of business. They are scared of telling you that they’re not happy in their work and are looking for another job. What are they scared of?We don’t know. That’s the problem.I recently advised a family member that they should tell their employer that they starting a job search. “But, David, what if Sally Sue doesn’t find a job and now she’s stuck at her current job?“Here’s another example…I had an Individual Contributor tell me that they intended to start a job search. As a person, job searches excite me because I enjoy helping people with them. (As a manager at a company, I realize that it’s not the best thing for the company.) I said to the person, “that’s exciting! What are you looking to get to do more of in your new role that you are not doing here?” It was clear that the person was shocked with the response, they didn’t know what to expect.And that’s the learning!Fear is a feeling from needing to feel the safety of expectation, but expectation is not there.If you are leading a team, realize that your Individual Contributors want to know what to expect - not just from the job, but from you as a person. Be upfront. Show them that you are who you say you are, and let them know it’s safe for them to be themselves with you. Hey, you might just develop a healthy friendship out of it!If you are not a leader and wondering what to do with this post… realize that you have fears because you need the safety of an expectation. During times when safety doesn’t feel right around the corner, it’s easy to give into fear. Instead of giving in, leverage it. That’s tomorrow’s post.

Seafarers are people who work aboard seagoing vessels. I worked aboard cruise ships for many years as a musician. What was it like?

I would leave home, flying to a city such as Miami or Seattle to meet the ship. I would board, and remain on board for 7-10 months. During that time, we would leave our home port - the port we pick up and return passengers to every 7-21 days - and set sail for a voyage. I must have sailed thousands of voyages all over the world. Here’s the thing with voyages: all voyages have a start, a middle, and an end.

The best musicians are the ones who were, at one point in their career, comfortable being bad. Everybody starts somewhere - at the beginning. Thinking about the best musicians, how might we take a lesson from their book and become the best we can be?We discipline our mind.We develop an intentional and daily practice of doing something - practicing your scales, taking a walk, saying “no” to dessert, taking a breath before we react, pausing to think before we judge, etc. Like working out, routinely exercise the muscles and they’ll grow.How to discipline the mind?Develop and maintain a daily routine of some kind: morning, work startup, before bed, dinner, whatever.Exercise your mind - daily. Read a book, listen to music, take up an artistic hobby, learn how to identify bird calls - literally any thing to exercise your mind.Decide how you want to improve. Is it your ability to think through challenges? Decision making? Leadership? Marketing?Identify what 3 next steps you’ll need to take to get better. Perhaps it’s reading a book? Setting and keeping a release date? Survey your customers?Do the thing - ship your work. Be okay with yourself if it sucks… you have to start somewhere!Learn and improve - wash, rinse, and repeat.The goal is not to get good at a hobby or become a master at making your bed, the outcome we’re after is an agile, resilient, and creative mind that’s ready to ship work, look bad, learn, and get better.Learning a hard skill is easy. It’s the real skills of resiliency and vulnerability that take work.

“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”—Christopher Robbin

I’ll be taking a few days off to enjoy nothing with the hopes it leads me to something.

I’ll see you soon… likely January 1, 2022.

Take some time to do nothing ;-)

I sat in a meeting the other day.My problem is that I want to be executing work. I don’t want to sit around too long and talk… I want to get out on the stage, and just go for it. Thoughtfully… but also, just go for it.In this meeting that I attended, there was a lot of talk, lots of updates, lots of me needing to listen and be present. That’s hard for me.It’s hard for me to sit steady and just listen. But… I remembered something that helped me focus, and maybe it would help you. Here’s what I said to myself:What’s happening to me, right now, is not hurting me or changing who I am. Because of that, it’s neither good, nor is it bad. Because of that, you can tolerate it.A useful reminder for any occasion.

“Results… are not random products of chance observations. They are the fruit of years of wise reflection, objective thinking, and thoughtful experimentation.” - Oswald Avery.Oswald Avery played a major role in trying to understand what was killing people in 1918. Later, in the 30s, we would come to know it was an influenza virus. But back in 1918, they thought it was a bacteria. This post is not about Corona Virus. The post is about how you approach doing your work.I have led and managed people that were results-oriented. They wanted to see themselves with new titles, more money, more stature, and more responsibility. They chased, for better or worse, the result.The problem is, chasing the results doesn’t lead to results. Then what does?Thoughtfulness. Why is what you’re trying to do matter? Who does it matter to? What is it for? Why is it needed? What change am I trying to make?Objective Thinking. How will I know it worked? How will I know it had the intended impact? Did it work? What could I have done better? How might I improve?Experimentation. What if I try this? What if we combined A with B, would that work? It looks like when I do this, A happens… well how about trying this instead? Thinking outside the box.I could not agree with Oswald any more than I already do - I’m 100% behind this cat.Doing the work matters, and that work out to be thoughtful, objective thought out, and leverage your creative abilities.Do that work to see results that matter.

“What am I doing here? What am I put on this earth to do?”

Right now, as I sit here, it’s to share an insight I’ve gathered from my life so that you might leverage that insight to do something that matters. As I write to you, I am fulfilling my purpose to exist.

What if our life’s purpose was that simple and that “in the moment”?

As you sit here, now, reading these words, what are you hoping to walk away with?

I get asked, a lot, how I got good at reading people.Here’s the secret that only you know… I don’t read people.“But David, you seem to size people up pretty quick, you seem to know what motivates them, they respond to you… surely there must be a way?“There’s always a way, and don’t call me Surely ;-).I am effective at enabling people to be themselves around me - that’s what everybody wants, right? To be themselves.How do you enable someone to be themselves?You show up as yourself.You encourage others to be themselves - “be comfortable, all I want is a conversation, what are you hoping for?” Once they share, you respond, “I can do that for you.“You be curious. Seek to understand the person. Develop a sense of empathy for them - put yourself in their story.You be judge free. The key to getting people to show themselves is not judging people for showing themselves ;-)You repeat back what you learned - show the person that you saw them.You build on their what you saw - perhaps there’s a way that person can leverage their story to something better for them? (that’s called seeing potential)If reading people is a teachable skill, I don’t want to learn it. Where I want to grow is improving my ability to see people exactly the way they want to be seen.Don’t spend time reading people.Spend time getting to know and love them.

To be an effective sight reader of music - to play music at sight and without preparation - you need to quickly analyze what’s in front of you. You need to understand what’s going on within the song, how one note moves to another, how what you do contributes to the next note - the function of things. Understanding life isn’t much different.To be a more effective you - understand the music that is your life. What are you trying to do? Who are you doing it for? Why is what you’re doing useful for them? How does what you are doing now connect to the next thing you’ll do? Do you have enough information - and are you gutsy enough - to take the next step?The skill I have is a sought after and specialized skill. I am by far not the best - there are many, many, many much better than I. What makes me effective is not an innate gift - there is no gift for sight reading well. What makes me effective is that I have failed - A LOT - and I continue to fail. But, with each failure I learn more and more.You have to practice.

Nothing natural is evil.The car that cut you off isn’t out to get you, the car is just a car.The obnoxious neighbors next door are just people doing their thing.People on the opposite side of your politics aren’t trying to take away your rob you of something, they are just humans participating in the same game our side plays.It is our perception of others and what happens around us that causes us to create, and pass, judgment.The car that cut me off? The car simply passed me, I perceived it as “cutting” me off.The obnoxious neighbor? The neighbors are loud, I characterize them as obnoxious.The other side trying to get their way and compromise my way of life? Am I trying to advocate for things that benefit me? And, am I considerate of others who may disagree in my advocacy?What I am describing is natural. It’s natural to perceive, characterize, and judge others, or the things that happen around us, as good, bad, or otherwise. But, the thing is, they aren’t good, bad, or otherwise. They, just, are.I am writing a bit more about perception and life because this time of year can be hard on many. There are expectations for what gatherings should be like, because they’ve always been like that, because one person wants it that way… and those expectations may not be met. That expectation miss causes many to spiral into a trap of judgment, argument, and depression. But, if they took a step back, and remember that “nothing natural is evil,” they could see things as they are.Like the song says, “Let it go.”