“Preschool children, on average, ask their parents about 100 questions a day. By middle school, they’ve pretty much stopped asking.” - Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman, Creativity Crisis.The thing that kids and Einstein have in common is their desire to ask questions. To wonder, experiment, fail and try again. I was fortunate enough to have music teachers that encouraged this type of thinking, but I might have been lucky. My non-music teachers encouraged me to have the right answers. What good is it to have “the right answer” when questions routinely change? As a recruiter, I find that employers are looking for people who can “ask the right questions.” But it’s a struggle because our schools teach us to comply, memorize the texts, and have the right answers. As a leader, I look for teams to push the boundaries by asking “why” and “what if.” But it’s hard when your organization seeks compliance. I am proud that I sluffed off school because I didn’t learn the skill to comply - to have the right answers - I rarely do. Instead, I chose to ask questions of the world - of my failures, wins, and in-betweens so that I could adapt as needed. If you want to quickly adapt, grow, and make an impact, stop trying to have the right answers and start looking for a more beautiful question.
On Friday night, a band of artisans mounted a wagon pulled by a truck that drove around the City of Milwaukee while we performed holiday music. Driving down alleyways and main corridors, we performed all sorts of music - from minor versions of “Frosty the Snowman” to ska version of “White Christmas.” People stop, took notice, honk their horns, grabbed their phones, and in all cases - smiled. After three hours, we returned to a garage, got in our cars, and headed home without a dime to show for our work. Instead, we had something better - smiles and warmed hearts. The people who enjoyed our work paid for it - they paid for it with their attention, their time, and with their reactions - smiles. When you start measuring your work not by your income or title but by the lives you can change, you’ll find deep fulfillment. I did.OH!Find out more about the Christmas Caravan here.And if you’re in the Milwaukee area, and want us to stop by and liven your spirits, let us know by messaging us here. It’s free
But what do I do? I am a professional at helping people who believe that there has got to be something more do that something more. I do that work best when I am helping people closest to the action. I find the greatest joy connecting people to a solution that may change their lives in a meaningful and beneficial way. That’s what I do at work. But what do I do for you? I write - hopefully every day - to share what’s been on my mind and translate that into an actionable idea for you. Some ideas will resonate, others not so much. I share because experience taught me that sharing what I have learned with others is a generous act. Why hold on to an idea? An idea that is not shared is one that dies alone. An idea that spreads has a chance to live and do something worth something for someone else. So what can you continue to expect from me?You can continue to expect that I will write you - hopefully every day - with an idea that might help. Thanks for following along.“I hope that you’ll glean some helpful insights and that you’ll try to help someone else. Anything worth believing in is worth fighting for, and you’re worth it.” - First blog entry
…is the reason to keep going. Because life is not about status or signals. It’s about getting to do something worth something for someone else every day.The reason to live is the reason to get up and work - like the bees. To ask questions that help you find a problem you care about and then solve it. The reason to live is the reason to serve others. Because when you live your life in the service of others, change happens. People start helping people more.The reason to live is the reason to love. Love is for creating community, and through a community, helping others. When I first started this blog, I wrote about change - What change? “To be the change you want to see in the world, you must realize you can be that change right now. At this moment, if you choose, you can continue to positively change the world just as you did for your best friend. Use your gifts. Be the change.” - David BradyToday, I challenge you to not only be the change you seek to make but be a reason that someone ended their day happier and more fulfilled. There are plenty of good reasons.
If you’re doing work that matters for people who care, then growth in the form of getting to do it again the next day - but better. But I don’t think that’s the question you’re trying to answer.Perhaps you’re thinking, how do you elevate your status in consideration for the work you’ve done? And that could be money, title, or how you think others perceive you. And if that’s the case, what will you do once you have status? Status signals to others that they should perceive you as valuable. That you have achieved something significant. That you are to be respected. Consider that earning a master’s degree signals others to perceive you as more of an expert in your field. Having a title of “Manager” lets others know that you’re someone to listen to. Buying the biggest house on the block signals to others you have disposable resources. But these signals only are the cover - they don’t show the substance. Real influence comes from earning trust, respect, and a story. A story that others will tell themselves about the work you do and why it matters to them. That can only happen if you serve the others. Back to the original question - how can I do all of this work and not see growth? Perhaps you’re looking for the red herring of status and not embracing the beauty of bettering the lives of those you seek to serve. Imagine if we measured our lives not by our titles or our degrees but by the number of people who asked us to do the generous work of serving their needs. I see nothing but growth and possibility.
Are you in the right race?Create sustainable fulfillment by being in the right race. Get out of the ones that don’t enable you to do more of what makes you come alive - they’re not for you. And you’ll know which one is which by the journey.One journey includes setbacks, self-reflection, generosity, frustration, delight, deep joy, questioning, and a resilient pursuit of something more. The other endeavor offers jealousy, resentment, the quest for status or wealth, and the feeling that you “deserve” something from someone. If the latter sounds like you, it might be time to start looking elsewhere. You’re in an opportunity that won’t offer you sustainable fulfillment - you won’t be happy in the long run. But if you’re in the former - stick with it! When you’re doing what makes you come alive, there is not a finish line. The goal is to keep doing more of it. And when you’re gone, others will pick up the torch and carry your work onward for you. Will there be stops along the way? Absolutely - then you can make what you’re doing better. Because making things better, doing more of the thing you need to do, and doing it generously for others is how we improve and create culture. That’s infinite work. The goal is to stay in the game, do it again, and do it better. How can you stay motivated to keep going?
When you thought you had considered everything, did you? Now that you crossed the street, does the grass on the other side seem greener?Were people honest with you about what you would be doing? Do you feel misled?Did you make the right decision? Decisions are for creating agency. They exist to allow you to do the work you need to do for those you serve. To make the “right” decision is actually to make a “better decision.” Better decisions give you more agency - more freedom. The way to do it better is to do it more - decide more. And when you decide more, take time to reflect. What went into your decision - was there more information to consider? Did the decision impact the trajectory of your life? How did your decision change the lives of those you serve? Stop thinking right or wrong - Start thinking better.Find out more about decisions here.
The essence, the “what is it for?” question, the fundamental purpose will set you free. Starting a new job? There’s a lot to do right away. Instead of trying to “drink from the fire hose,” why not ask - “what is this for?“If the response, “it’s for your onboarding,” your next question should be, “right, what is the onboarding for?“Being brought in on a creative project? “Who is this project for?” If the response, “it’s for getting together and practicing some tunes,” then you respond, “yes, and will learning these tunes help us understand who this work is for?“If your parent asks you to sit nicely at the table and finish your food, “what is this food is for?” “If I sit nicely and finish all of the food, though I am not hungry, will I have a better understanding of what this food is for?” The essence helps you identify the purpose of what you’re doing in the simplest form. And with that identification, you can become more effective.Don’t be afraid to seek the essence first.
Do you want to be authentic with others? If you do, what keeps you from saying everything that enters your mind? And, would you want to know everything that’s on someone else’s? Perhaps what we need is to feel seen. To feel like someone else gets that we have a story - beautiful and complicated like theirs - and that we have a problem worth solving for. Perhaps what we need is to see others. To realize that others have a story - beautiful and complicated like our own - and that we might be able to - if we stop and listen - do something worth something for them. Authenticity is a red herring. What we’re looking for is acknowledgment, acceptance, and action.P.S. I like this cover image because the image offers a simple message that’s universal - understand that we will never understand others, but we can accept that and be with them. That’s empathy.
I’m stopping my church gig - for now. I may not have many gigs to play - for a while.
Others are not hiring me to play for their social events - until it is safe for them.
Quitting is not quitting when we stop. Stopping is simply the opposite of “starting.”
When we are ready, we can go from “stop” to “start again.”
You get to choose.