Tati, a reader like you, responded to a recent article with the question:

“What do you actually refer to when you say, doing something for someone with our art?”

Tati, a musician, goes on to talk about how being a musician is not worth it without a non-musical audience to support. How can we serve those individuals without cultivating ourselves first?

I believe this is a generous question that deserves an equally generous response.

There are unwritten contracts between you and others.  This unwritten contract is what you expect of one another.Do you speak out?Do you keep quiet? Why aren’t you doing this…?Why are you doing this…?You may not have agreed to these terms outright, but rest assured, your friends know about them.  What I’m speaking of is what I write about often, expectations.  I’m also speaking about culture.For me, culture is a curated and cultivated set of internal beliefs and actions - it’s like the intersection of morality and ethics.   I think for you, and for others, culture is deeply personal. We care if others do things, or don’t, that assault our culture.  Seemingly insensitive comments;The absence of one’s voice from a cause;The lack of presence during a tough time;Not having your back the way you hoped they would; orNot adding up to the human, you expect those you trust to act.I encourage you to give people the grace of being responsible for their own lives. That what people do on the chessboard that is their world is their decision, not yours. And, I encourage you to give people the grace of doubt - they may make decisions that fly in the face of your values, that doesn’t mean they’re an awful human.  If you want to serve others in a meaningful way, allow them to be themselves, be still, watch, and respond. I think you’ll find a certain freedom you’ve been looking for in that mindset.  A deep thanks to my friend, Ian, for a bit of insight that inspired this post.

The large companies I worked at often wanted head/central offices to provide strong leadership - clear direction, precise standard operating procedures, and possibly, a bit too much, in my opinion, micromanagement.

Often, we didn’t trust the people who were hired to do the work, the people who directly interact with our customers.  

The pessimist in me offers a few ideas:

• They don’t know what you know.
• They are not thinking of the big picture.
• They are not going to be consistent.
• We can’t report up what we can’t directly manage.
• They can’t be trusted to do what we want.
• We know better.

Truthfully, I don’t like this way of thinking - it’s just not me.  

If you wear glasses, it’s possible that when you take them off, the world appears blurry. If you wear glasses, the lenses may tint as you step into the sun. If you wear glasses, you may not be able to see well at night. If you wear glasses, the world may not look the same to you as it does for others. Sometimes, the problems in front of you are blurry, aren’t easily solved, “too hard” or “too big” to fix. But, put on a pair of glasses, and those problems become solutions. The metaphorical glasses I’m referencing are the mindset of possibility. When you adopt the posture of possibility, the path to a solution becomes clear.Oh, I have no idea why I have an obsession with cute dog pics. Perhaps, it’s my subliminal mind telling me to get a dog. Perhaps, I need more cute things in my life. Who knows!

Art takes as much intentional time as it needs for something to realize. If you’re trying to decide if you’re being productive or not, perhaps the question ought to be… Am I being intentional with my time to make something worth something for someone else? If your answer is “no,” perhaps it’s time to set an intention and do the work. If the answer is “yes,” show your work and get invited to do more of it.

I originally started this blog as a way to save money.  I would take books out of the library, read them, and capture my learnings via the blog. In this way, I’ll always be able to go back to what I learned, plus, share my learnings with others.  I’ve noticed that the more and more I read, the more and more my thoughts start to shift. And, sometimes what I end up posting is a result of my own original thinking as well.  Well, today, as requested by your fellow subscriber, Chris, here are the books I’ve read since starting the blog:I started off reading Seth Godin’s, Tribes. If you know my work, you know I’m heavily influenced by his, and Simon Sinek’s work. This book introduced me to the concept of giving the team I lead (700+ people) a north star.Measure What Matters joined the bookshelf when I was trying to understand why my last employer was embracing “Objectives and Key-Result” oriented thought. It felt like an affront to my “agile/creative” mindset, and what better way to understand what you’re trying to do than read the book!Big Red Fez, is the Seth Godin treatise on website design. The examples are dated, but theories on design are still relevant.Steven Pressfield’s classic, The War of Art, is a must-have if you’re hitting a block between what you believe yourself to be capable of, and what you’re actually doing now.In general, I hate meetings of all kinds that are “updates” or “check-ins.” However, Priya Parker’s generous work offers a new way to think about meetings, The Art of Gathering.How do you make decisions when you don’t have all the facts in front of you? You start Thinking in Bets.There’s much more to comics than meets the eye. Scott McCloud can help you understand not just how to “Understand Comics” but also how to create art.We are short on attention these days. If you want to share your work with the others, you need their attention. Herschel Gordon Lewis’ thoughts on copywriting and direct-response mail can help - Direct Mail Copy That Works.Bernadette Jiwa, her blog, and her work have influenced my thinking in stories. To learn more, check out works such as Story Driven, Difference, and Make Your Ideas Matter.Michael Stanier has offered a humorous, concise, and effective way to genuinely learn from and help others through The Coaching Habit.This is my go-to book when I’m stuck and need ideas - A Beautiful Constraint. The print-version makes an excellent coffee table book.Artists steal from one another, and it’s okay. We build off each other’s ideas. Here’s a book about ethical stealing and why it matters - Steal Like an Artist.The multi-page business plan is dead, long live the business plan. Now, check out a more effective one-page alternative. The paper version is rich with graphics.  Business Model Generation.Humorous, batty, bonkers, and wildly out-of-the-box, Rory Sutherland’s Alchemy offers an alternative way of looking at brands and communicating with others.Malcom Gladwell’s Tipping Point is a classic for anybody that wants to spread a message.Seth’s bestseller, This is Marketing, has a permanent place on the desk.  I love to read. I’m sure there are other books that I have not mentioned. I’m not one for “I read 35 books last year” kinda statements. Instead, I’m one for learning as much as I can from anywhere I can - even if it’s from my mistakes.For you, I hope the book list offers some insights and inspiration.

There’s a powerful force out there seizing your attention as I type. Why aren’t you stopping it?It’s a practice that I engage in as well - direct response communication. Also known as “force communication.”  It’s a form of writing seeking to engage the reader.  The title of this blog is a form of direct-response communication. I’m asking if you “know” something, and hopefully, you’re wondering to yourself, “Do I?“The first sentence of today’s entry, “there’s a powerful force out there seizing your attention… Why aren’t you stopping it?In this first sentence, I’m capitalizing on your interest in the title and taking you a step further by making you question your safety.  Pâro, the feeling that no matter what you do is somehow wrong, offers us some insight.Every day advertisers and content creators are finding new and innovative ways to capture your attention.  “Why didn’t you know about…?”  “Isn’t it time that we…?““Trump wants military policing… What are you gonna do?““What can we do to keep the democrats from taking our guns?““Why aren’t you posting more on LinkedIn?““If you’re silent, you’re part of the problem.“Pâro is that feeling of, it’s never going to get better. I’m never going to escape the downward cycle of bad news and self-doubt.  Truly the feeling sucks. But, if we know what it’s for, to cause doubt, we might have an opportunity to do something about it.What can we do?Check-in with yourself.  Ask, “What am I doubting?“Ask, “Where am I heading? What’s my goal?“Ask, “What is this goal for?“Ask, “Is this still what I want to do?“Then, do it.  If a title made you question your diet choices, ask those questions, then do what you feel is right.If a title made you think about your voice in a social justice movement, ask those questions, then do what you feel is right.If a blog made you think about self-help books and whether or not they’re criminal (like this!)…Well, read the blog and tell your friends about it.  You might just help someone else get over their pâro.

In his blog, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John offers a word I believe is relevant - pâro. (Par-oh)What is pâro?First, watch this video.

Second, tune in for tomorrow’s post about why this word is so relevant to you.

I was recently emailing with a friend of mine.I offered this individual a gift.They responded, “you don’t have to, it’s not necessary.“No true gift is free of risk.My quick analysis is that giving a gift was a disruption.Here’s how I imagine their subconscious to have responded:“I have everything that I need, am I missing something? Oh no! Maybe I don’t! Quick, do I have everything? What do I need? Do we have food?” - Friend’s SubconsciousThen they calmly respond, “You don’t have to, it’s not necessary.“For 1/10 of 1/100000ths of a second, there was a momentary risk. A feeling that they might not have what they need - a disruption. Then, followed by acceptance.  Of course, giving a gift is not necessary.That’s why we give gifts.

“If we are motivated to solve a problem we are willing to face the fear that comes with it. It’s just that a lot of us are uncomfortable with facing the fear and it’s something we must get used to.” - A humanMy thought is this, what is it for? Fear, what is fear for?What does fear exist to do for us?  What have we to gain from our fear?If you’re like me, you probably get scared before doing anything of consequence. To this day, I still get nervous performing in front of people.  Why was fear there?  Fear was there to remind me that what I was doing was important.  Fear reminded me that I cared.So, what is fear doing for you?Is it helping you find motivation?Is fear there to check-in with you?Is fear a way for us to be mindful?Instead of “facing” fear, I’m welcoming it.  It’s obviously there to help.But, like most things, it’s best enjoyed in moderation.