I’ll admit this has been a wrestling time for me.  A wrestling time because I’ve grown up in a colorful and multi-cultural home. I live in a cultural home. I’ve experienced the world, for good and for bad, the way multi-cultural families experience the world. It’s a privilege to live this way, and it’s this privilege that caused me to take some time to understand the Black Lives Matter movement.My personal stance is Black Lives Matter. I support this cause, this group, and my friends who have been, are now and may continue to be, negatively impacted by racism, prejudice, and despicable exertions of authority in any form.  Additionally, I know that it’s the privilege I’ve had, not as a white man (which I can’t claim), but as a human growing up the way I’ve grown up, to not have to write on this topic. In general, if you read the blog, you’ll know that I focus on helping you do more of the work you believe you ought to do. It’s not so much about the times we live in.  With that said, everybody has a story - be it scary, sad, hurtful, exciting, vivid, or beautiful. And, if we are to do more work that matters for the people who care, we need to learn their stories.  Culture-at-large is slow to change. But, culture-within, your personal culture, can change overnight. Is it worth it?   If you’re a member of my tribe, the answer is “yes.”  People like us, the Artisan Doer, steps into a posture of possibility with love, empathy, and a deep curiosity for others.  We do so by focusing within, being still, listening, and being a meaningful specific to those that need us.  Take some time, learn the stories.Take some time, be present with yourself.  Take some time, set an intention.Take some time, serve another human..Does this mean you need to join a protest? No. Create change in your way.Join a protest;Write a blog;Listen more and speak less;Get involved in community organizations;Put a candidate forward that more aligns with your views;Think twice before crossing the street, ask, “what’s making me cross the street?”Help one another.Write a post on Facebook;Create a video and share it.The list goes on and I’m sure you’ll think of other impact-making ideas. I know this is a bit of a long post, but if you take nothing else, please remember this:There’s real hurt within the Black community. Understand that generations are hurt and oppressed - learn the stories, listen, and be empathetic. You’ll never truly understand, that’s okay, but you learned.We can be a force for change, and change happens quickest within ourselves. Be the change. Take action. Even if it’s small. I love you. I know you’re the kind of person who loves others and shows it daily. P.S. I chose Ricardo Gomez Angel’s photo because it symbolized, for me, transmission. Transmission of hurt, stories, and love. Communication is the act of moving an idea from one human to another. For me, Ricardo made that happen.

The origins of the word are Latin. It means, “to claim, affirm.“Interestingly, the origins of the word “claim” mean “to call out.”  To assert your truth is to directly affirm in a way faithful to your belief.It does not mean that you need to post about it.  It does not mean that you need to harm others for their assertions.It does not mean that others need to harm you for yours.  It does mean to represent yourself in a way faithful to you.  I say this because we’re raw now. Everybody is being called to pick a side - black lives matter, all lives matter, blue lives matter… and so on - extreme tribalism. This can be a force for good, but it can also be a force for exclusion. As a result, those that wish not to be excluded often say nothing, or worse, if they do, they’re shunned.  Be a force for change in the world - work to serve the others.  Assert your truth. If it’s not fully aligned with the story of another tribe - that’s okay.The goal is not to be something for everyone, but it is to be a meaningful specific for the people who believe what you believe - your tribe. The others who might shun you - they’re not for you.  That’s okay.

“No true gift is free of risk.“I use Ida Benedetto’s statement often in my posts. Why?Because change can be a gift.Because with change comes risk.  The risk that we’ll see the world differently.The risk that different may not be better.The risk that we might feel shame brought on by guilt.The risk that we might feel anger brought on by inequality.At the end of the day, we’ll never know what might happen until it actually happens, we can only assume which leads to fear.The problem with fear caused by assumption is that it’s something created within ourselves, and therefore, not yet real.  On the flip side, once we’ve made a change, we might find fulfillment. A fulfillment that comes from doing life better by doing better things.  Hesitant? Unsure? Worried how others might perceive you? Worried about being insensitive?  Worried you might be wrong? Worried you might be right? Worried about your pride? It’s okay. It’s the resistance talking, and it’s there to help you. You can beat it.But, it’s also keeping you from receiving and giving to the world something more beautiful - a gift.  Perhaps that gift is the ability to be more of what we need in this world - you.

If you’re going to create change that lasts, you need to see what’s in front of you. In order to see, you need to listen. In order to listen, you need to realize. You need to realize that everyone has a life as complicated, vivid, frightful, and just as beautiful as yours. Sonder is that realization. You don’t need me to rehash how 2020 has shaped up for us - it’s sucked. We’ve experienced a lot. What we’ve also encountered is seeing how our friends react - especially on social media. I’ve purposefully taken a step back. I’ve chosen to observe how people react, listen, and self-reflect. I have my opinions, but they don’t matter to anyone but myself. What matters is sonder - my realization that others have complicated lives, too. Through sonder, I’m a better listener, more thoughtful in my reflections, and more effective at helping others when I can. Now is the time to realize and fully see the others.

Have you read or heard these comments from your friends?“I’m over it, I’m leaving Facebook. It’s too dark here. Peace out, y’all.““I’ll fight anybody that disagrees with me. All cops are bad.““The virus scares me, I can’t see you.““There’s no point in trying to get ahead, so why bother?““Black lives matter. And, if you disagree with me, we can’t be friends.”  I have, and I see them every day. I find them interesting. Why?Because they are the work of the “doing mode.”  David, what’s the “doing mode,” and why do I care about it? Your brain’s “doing mode” creates a picture of how the world “should” look, and then it works to make that picture a reality. It’s the mindset that enables us to invent things, finish a task, and “do” life. But, like most things we do, we sit in this mode too much. Here’s an example of what I mean.When things aren’t becoming a reality quickly or smoothly, the “doing mode” goes into “overdrive.” It will cause you to stress, obsess, and feel things are “unfair” or “unjust.” You’ll frustrate.When you begin to frustrate, you’ll be experiencing unpleasant emotions. “Doing mode” doesn’t want to deal with your feelings, and it will work to get rid of them.When you are getting rid of emotions, you’re seeking closure. Even if that means changing the subject, lashing out, distancing yourself, or doing anything that creates a closure, be it healthy or not - it’s Machiavellian this way.  When you are creating unhealthy closure, your ability to “do” the real things that matter, and serve your tribe, is compromised.  When you’re compromised, you’ll feel shame.  When you feel shame, you give up.When you give up…The “doing mode” is balanced by the “being mode.” A mindset that enables you, no, “allows” you to exist. To take things in, to learn, to question, to make a decision, and to move on. The “being mode” is about “experiencing” life. It’s also about growth.We need both modes of thought to exist.  “Experiencing” life gives us the ability to “do” living better.But, it only works if you can do both in balance.The balance will enable you to keep going.We need you to keep going.  Oh…A more detailed and scientific article on these two modes can be found here.Also, I chose the header image for this entry because it epitomizes how your “doing” mode operates. In kind of a funny way, I see that sign in my head all the time. Sometimes, I need to erase it and write, “Stop. Listen. See. Question. Reflect. Act.”If you’re interested in reading about what I’ve been reading in the last 6 months, let me know and I’ll share.

Have you really stopped to deeply think about this question - what is it for? This meeting, what is it for? Will this meeting help me understand what our work is for? Culture, what is culture for? Will creating a diversity committee help me understand what culture is for? School, what is school for? Will writing this essay help me understand what school is for? Protests, will attending a protest help me understand what a diverse and inclusive culture is for? People are staking out their tribes now. People are angry. People are frustrated. People are sick and tired of being “sick and tired." Extend empathy. Get involved. Be an ally. Create a culture. Just understand what it’s for. HT to Seth Godin for the “What is school for?" question.

Interesting thoughts today. Nobody likes melted ice cream.And, everybody loves choice.DoorDash allows you to order food from any vendor you wish and,Dutiful Dashers deliver their orders. Seems simple, right? But, DoorDash doesn’t say - “Hey David, you’re ordering ice cream from a place that’s 20 minutes from your home. It might be melted by the time it reaches you. How about try these options instead?”The problem is, that’s not how the system works. For the system to work, orders are placed based on a customer’s selection and the orders are delivered. The system trusts that a customer has enrolled themselves into the process enough to pay attention to the distance. If you’re building an experience for someone else, a platform, a business, a service, a dinner, a party, or literally anything that involves another human being part of something you’ve orchestrated - consider their experience. Why?Because, nobody likes melted ice cream. Because, nobody likes to do extra work.Because, we want our cake and we want to eat it, too.

My Dad once told me, “You’re not Hispanic, you’re not brown, you’re not an artist. You are my son - you are David. And, I love you.”

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks for showing me that I am so much more than what others might define me as.

I hope this lesson you shared with me so long ago helps others.

I love you.

Your son,

(Just only) David

(Backstory in case we’ve never met: I was born in Costa Rica, I am tanned, and I’m a musician by trade. I’ve also have an awesome Dad.)

Riots, killings, anxiety, anger, resentment, sadness, hurt, resignation… and fear. Emotions that many are feeling at this moment.

Keep your eyes open.

Be aware of what’s happening around, within, and through you.

Do more of the things that enable you to serve others.

Do more of the things that enable you to be you.

But, to do that, you need to see what’s ahead, and behind.

Keep your eyes open.