Simon Sinek recently wrote a book called “The Infinite Game.” I’ve heard his speech on “Infinite Games,” and I am sure the book follows the same lines. The premise is, think long-term to achieve short-term results. To be mission-oriented instead of results-oriented. As I reflect on the past, I believe I made the fail of being too mission-oriented - I didn’t leverage the short term, I didn’t think in 10s. Lesson learned. Seeing only the long game doesn’t help, but seeing only the short can be ruinous. Today, do your best to balance long-term gains and short-term wins. If you can find, and keep, the balance you’ll make better decisions.

Another tool you can help “Future” and “Past” you make better decisions is to think in 10s. As developed by author and journalist Suzy Welch, in her book, “10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea,” when faced with tough in-the-moment decisions, consider the below process. “What are the consequences of each of my options in ten minutes? In ten months? In ten years?” Thinking about “Past You,” try this version of the question out. “How would I feel today if I made this decision ten minutes ago? Ten months ago? Ten years ago?” (Reprinted from “Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts” by Annie Duke (c) 2018 by Anny Duke, p. 188) It’s almost as if you are regretting the decision before you’ve made it. How powerful is regret to you? Is it so powerful that you’d avoid making a decision to prevent making that feeling real for you? Avoid the feeling of regret, avoid the avoidable mistakes, and consider thinking in 10s.

In the same that you can project yourself into the future, don’t forget to project yourself into the past.

A while ago, I helped my sister using this tool. She was contemplating an important life decision. I asked her if she could remember the “Past Her” that made this decision in the past, she could.

I asked her what “Past Her” would say to “Future Her.” She then went on to think about the mistakes she made, available data at the time, and how she would make a different decision in the future. Back to (the) “Future Her.”

Improve your decision-making by breaking all the laws of time travel - meet your past and future self! Since December of last year, I had been planning to leave Miami and return home. In my head, I had a picture of “Future Me” being happier being closer to family and the ones I most deeply loved. Or, for contrast, since December of last year, I had been planning to leave Miami and return home. In my head, I had a picture of “Future Me” being confused about what to do next, though happier being closer to family, I would be entering into a new chapter. Truthfully, I met both versions of “Future” me last December. I hoped to find the “Happier Future Me,” which I did. Okay, now how about life decisions that might not be so happy? I’ve met tons of musicians that seek work on cruise ships. They want to get away, pay down debts, travel a bit, and they feel they’re going to be “happier.” Then, they find out what it’s all about - port manning, extra duties, etc. - while on the gig, and end up being miserable. Did they make the wrong decision? No! They took “a” decision, which led them to an upset version of themselves - the one that doesn’t like the extras but wants to play. If the individual had spent more time meeting their “future” selves, perhaps they would have reconsidered? Break the rules of time travel. Project yourself into the future to meet your “future self.” If possible, try to channel “Bob” and see all of your future versions. Then, come back to the present and make a bet.

If Bob is the messenger that’s often shot down and “Truth” is the skeptic, then I am the proverbial, “bull-in-a-china-shop.”  In the past, I’ve too often sought truth and offered opposing views with direct, blunt, and relentless drive. As you can imagine, like the others, I’ve been misunderstood as well.  Today I’m sharing some tactics that people like us, the skeptics, the messengers, and the bulls can use to help others.  “Yes. And…” When someone is telling you something, and it’s clear another point of view is needed, agree to those things that make sense to you and then offer another point of view. “Yes, I agree that having an alternative point of view is essential. And have you considered ‘XYZ’?” Ask permission. “Thanks for sharing your thoughts, may I offer another point of view that might help?”  Remind yourself of your purpose. “I know my boss just told me something disagreeable. At this moment, I expect myself to be helpful and offer insights that push their agenda forward.“Focus on the future. Focus on helping others improve their decision-making for the future. No need to rehash past outcomes, focus on offering new ways to think.  Don’t judge. Sometimes people have ideas that run contrary to our own. Find other Truths, Bobs, or Bulls and ask them to challenge you!  Nudge. I’m guilty of bulldozing when nudging would have been a more effective strategy. Someone has to want to take a step, all you can do is show the path ahead.Of course, if you’re part of a Decision Tribe, then be all you can be to question, challenge bias, and leave personal feelings at the door. However, when speaking to others outside of the group, consider the above methods. Had I known these years ago, I would have saved myself some unnecessary headaches.  There is a special place for the Bobs, the Truths, and the Bulls in this world. We offer a useful counterbalance.  For those like us, consider these tactics to help you come across better to those you seek to serve.

Skeptics get a bad wrap. Like Bob, I worked with another individual who was a truth-seeker. I’ll call this individual, Truth. Truth was an optimist in the sense that Truth desired for quality, the right thing to be done, and believed a more honest world was a better world. I agree. Like Bob, Truth was often misunderstood for being skeptical, dark, and scary. Skepticism gets a bad rap. Too often, we dismiss skeptics as being “negative,” nay-sayers, dark-minded, but they’re not. They’re truth-seekers. The skeptics, truth-seekers, in your life want to see you do the right thing for yourself. A skeptic desires you to consider all the facts, operate with integrity, be real enough to admit your faults, and earnest enough to do better next time. Don’t discount the truth-seekers. People like Truth, similar to Bob, bring meaning to your life. If you’re reading - thank you, Truth.

I say this over and over again, “It’s challenging to change one’s mind.” However, I have a tactic you can use to make it less. Think about the last time someone gave you a piece of advice. Go a step further, think about the time when the insight given you immediately dismissed in your head. How did you respond? Did you consider the opinion? With what level of skepticism? Now, imagine yourself in that situation again. But this time, explain to yourself why the other person is right. Almost as if you’re saying, “Of course, Bob is right. Here’s what Bob is saying, and here’s why his logic makes sense, and I can see how it leads to Bob’s outcome.” Will you become a Bob convert? No. However, you will be more likely to see Bob and his point of view a bit better. You can put your bias in check by projecting yourself into those trying to help you. Thinking about your helpers, tell yourself their story, from their perspective, and using their intended outcome. You can even use this tactic to help others. Ask them to explain, out loud, why your point is valid as if they were you. We can meet in the middle when we start telling ourselves the story others are trying to share with us. Nowadays, I think we could all benefit from meeting in the middle just a bit more.

I did not spin my result in yesterday’s blog. Those of you who know me might say I manipulated the answer because I like to be “right.” Well - you’re mistaken; I did not.Yesterday, I contended that the outcome doesn’t matter when evaluating decision-making processes. I maintain this position. The goal is to engage in better reflection, especially about our past decisions, so that we can do better in the future. If we remove the idea from our head that we were “right” or “wrong,” as it relates to our outcomes, we’ll see that improvement. Perhaps, your reflection will reveal flaws in your process. You’ll see confirmation bias at work, and in the future, you’ll need to be aware. Maybe you’ll realize that one data point didn’t matter, but another did. In life, once you have your “north” set, then your focus needs to be on the journey. If all you do is see “north,” but cannot see the road immediately in front of, on both sides of, or behind you, you’ll never orientate yourself to success. I’m not spinning when I say you were 30% right. I’m showing you a way to think about being 70% more right the next time around.

When reflecting on past decisions, do the outcomes matter? If every outcome has a probability of being a “win” or a “loss” for you, I’ll let you define what that means, then isn’t the process of how you came to win or lose more critical in determining future outcomes? The process is more important. Here’s why.Luck is outside of our control. So any intervening act outside of your control, which influences your outcome, cannot be factored into a reflection. Therefore, we may only consider what was within our control, the data we had, and what bets we made at the time we took a decision. If you consider the intended outcome when reviewing the data, your bias - and the bias of others reviewing the decision - will cause you to misinterpret the data against the final result. We don’t want this bias - it’s doesn’t help. If you gave yourself a 70% chance of achieving your outcome, and you did not, were you wrong? Or were you 30% right ;-)

There was an individual who worked with me. This individual spent years with the company, a strong leader, an individual I would often seek advice from because they saw what others didn’t. I’ll call this individual - Bob. Bob’s depth of experience enabled him to see things coming that could be disastrous. Perhaps we were trying something we’ve already done before, not changing the way we did it, and hoping for a different result? Bob could see that and often advised. Bob did have a problem. Bob had a reputation for being a talker and a nay-sayer. The leaders I reported to often discounted Bob’s advice. Their reasons? Bob “over-complicated” or “talked too much.” Bob knew this, and it frustrated Bob, it also frustrated me. When you shoot the messenger because you don’t like the messenger, you end up killing their message with it - don’t! The insights brought to bear may save a project, save time, heck - even save money! You could argue that Bob did have to own his reputation. Yes, he did. Bob had self-awareness. Bob worked on himself and made improvements. To this day, I’m proud of Bob. Without him, I wouldn’t have become a more well-rounded leader. He could put me in check, reshape my thoughts, and help me see what I couldn’t. Bob’s a good guy. For you, try not to shoot the Bobs. They can enrich your life, your skills, and your decision-making in ways you couldn’t understand. Instead, be generous, help the Bobs be better communicators. If you’re reading - Thank you, Bob ;-)