A Learning a Day’s recent post featured a quote:“The grass is greener on the other side because it is fertilized by bullshit.”The grass is never greener. We only think it is because of our perspective. Walk to the other side of the street and look back. If the sun hits it just right, and you’re in a “just right” mood, you’ll see the grass on that side looks greener. Your brain lies to you. It creates a picture of the world based on probability and your physical senses. What you think you see is not what’s actually there at that second. You only see so many waves of light, you can only hear so many decibels, you can only perceive 3 dimensions. If you have a pet, like a dog, the world the dog sees looks radically different than yours. Does the dog see the actual word as it is? The grass is never greener, and things aren’t always what they seem.Leave space to be wrong. Leave space to be content with the present. Leave space to be discontent just enough that it pushes you try something new… with open eyes.

I spoke with a team member today about feedback.The team member asked me why I don’t give more feedback. Shocked.What’s feedback? It’s a boomerang. It’s the communication someone gives you when they experience your work. Why do leader screw up feedback? Because there’s a perception that feedback must be said/delivered a certain way. Some leaders have a perception that we must preserve the self-esteem and confidence of our team and couch our perceptions in ways that helps people feel safe. I believe something else.When I improvise jazz, the musicians supporting me and I engage in a dialogue — a dance. I express a musical idea and other musicians pick up on it or don’t. In the moment, we are rapidly building upon and destroying ideas. We are engaged in each other’s work. We are focused on making our work better together. That’s feedback too.My belief towards feedback is that feedback is a form of engagement. It’s a dance. It’s you sharing your work with me and me being curious, wondering, asking about, reinforcing, and expressing skepticism about the work. It’s you sharing your thoughts back with me. It’s us building something better together.It’s me saying, “I’m jazzed to get into this… what should we look at first? I’m super curious about this… how are you thinking we do … with it?”It’s not me asking, “may I give you some feedback?”Leaders: something to think about. How do you break out of the “leadership best practice” mode and be more human with your team?

I admire effective coordinators. They act like air traffic controllers. Carefully taking time to understand the position of everyone in a space, and then working collaboratively to bring people in and out safely. In order to coordinate effectively, you need to know a couple of things:All of the players in your space.The goals, hopes, and dreams of all the players in your space.The terrain of your space. Your agency. Know the amount of change you can make.The ultimate goal.Perhaps there are more things a great coordinator should know… the above is just a start.Cheers to effective coordination. A skill you and I could work to better develop within ourselves.

I don’t think you need to be rich to have enough. I am not a rich person, I don’t have a ton of money, but I have enough. What is enough? My argument is enough is what you have right now. If you have what you need to maintain your existence, you may have enough. The mileage in my argument may vary — you might disagree. Why think about it?I have an idea that when we start to believe we don’t have enough, we begin to believe we deserve more. When we begin to believe we deserve too strongly, we begin to see the world as unfair or unjust. “Why does someone else have what I don’t? I deserve that! I deserve more!” I don’t think that’s a uniquely human trait. Well, if that makes sense, then it might mean that realizing that you have enough might be antidote. Perhaps that’s why there’s so much literature on gratitude?

Liz, a supervisor on the team I lead, commented to a person on her team that they needed to create a case for their best next step. I loved the idea. What’s a case?The earliest uses of the word “case” come from French and Latin. The word, a long time ago, generally meant “a chance, occasion, situation, opportunity” and in Latin the word’s general meaning meant “to fall” as in “to fall in place.” I, very generally, see the word as “to create conditions to pounce when preparation meets opportunity.”If that’s a useful definition, the implication is that we should spend our time in preparation so that we are in the best position possible to meet opportunity. Put another way: If you want to sustain yourself with a career in music, show up and act like someone who already sustains themselves with a career in music. Thanks for the inspiration, Liz!Note for managers: create conditions for your teams to do the work of someone who is in a higher salary band or a higher promotion. As much as possible, give your team opportunities to stretch themselves and become who they believe themselves to be. A gardener makes the conditions right for a seed to germinate and reach its fullest potential.

Here are 7 things not worth fighting.City Hall.Slow Internet.Parallel Parking.Voice Systems that force you to press 0 a thousand times to speak to someone.Thanos - he’s inevitable.Your stomach. Your Inner Night Owl.Your jet lag.Time is relative. You only have now. Don’t fight the inevitable.

I got back to the states the other day. Here are the lessons learned from this trip overseas:If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Mentally prepare for every possibility. Enjoy being surprised when things go right.Markets reflect taste. If you want to know how a food should taste, visit a local market. Bigger cars don’t always mean bigger parking spots. How much of life is about cramming a ton of things into a tiny window of time? Seeing the people who are in your charge as a total person first always creates trust. Your team wants to see you doing things alongside them. Admired leaders don’t need to get angry or be annoying to make a point. Aggression is no substitute for being assertive. Nobody wins from overreaction. Good quality sleep is critical for health. I have a bucket list of things I want to do next time I arrive.Climb Mount ArayatA number of coffee places.Visit a coffee farm in Cavite.Visit a few restaurants that have been added to my map.Visit Ilo Ilo and enjoy Kansi with a friend.Find the best Mexican food in the Philippines. It’s a fun challenge!Travel and being in uncomfortable situations are the best forms of teachers. Period.

“Despite customer orders being right only 63% of the time, 99% of the customers leave the restaurant feeling happy.”https://twitter.com/gunsnrosesgirl3/status/1750814607545868611?t=gefmhscjm4RmSTlElCt5QwIf you know someone with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, that video may strike a chord.

What does it mean to be a strong self-advocate? I imagine some might believe it means to “fight” and “advocate aggressively” for your interests. Others might view self-advocacy as a more passive act. I’m attempting to form an idea of what it means for me. Loosely, I think it’s this:Knowing who you are and therefore what matters to you. Knowing what matters to you and therefore how you must show up in the world to make that happen.Knowing how you must show up in the world to make change happen and therefore why others will benefit from your work. With that knowledge, you can always keep yourself in the best position possible to advance yourself and react to life’s challenges.

Overreaction only startles and stresses the people in your charge. Is it worth it? Perhaps the point of an overreaction is to motivate action. But are those actions out of motivation to achieve or out of fear of reprisal?A leader might operate with this golden rule: everything bad that can happen will happen. Because of that, the best thing a leader can do is prepare the team for disaster response. Drill relentlessly. Fortify the team’s mind not to react negatively to another person’s overreaction. But instead, have a clear-minded set of protocols for what to do next.