Apparently, the likelihood that your judgments are accurate — noise and bias free — may rise or fall with your mood. If that’s true, take an inventory of your mood and emotions before making big decisions.

Do I understand you?I imagine your life is a mix of ups and downs. You wake up dreading what’s to come. You ask, “why am I doing this? What have I gotten myself into?”I imagine you wish someone would help you. You tell people in your life what’s happening in your life, but it seems like nobody listens. Don’t they see you struggle.I imagine you find life overwhelming. Every day one new thing to track. One new bill to pay. One new fire to put. And, maybe for you, one new rabbit hole to go down. You can’t keep doing this, you just need a break. Why can’t others see you need a break?I can imagine these things because I’ve listened to many people over many years talk about their lives. But to imagine is not the same as understand. I don’t want to understand you.What you think you seek is “understanding” but what you actually seek is “being acknowledged.”Acknowledgment, in the way I am using the word, means to be “seen” or “perceived.” To have your humanity “recognized.” To say I “understand” your humanity is to rob you of your experience. You don’t want your experience stolen from you, I think you want it “recognized.”Why is it so hard to see people recognizing us?Perhaps because we want people not only to recognize us but do something for us. We want the recognition of our situation to compel action — some argue that’s called “sympathy.” A person can be skilled at “recognizing” but not sympathetic; and someone can be sympathetic but not skilled at recognizing. What’s my preference?My preference is to be skilled at recognizing someone’s humanity. I prefer people recognize me for my humanity too. I don’t need/want sympathy; what I need is another pair of eyes looking back at me and saying, “I see you.”

Brian, a friend of the blog, shared this quote with me.“We usually compare our rough drafts to others’ final drafts.” I almost believe this blog is several rough drafts away from a final draft. I think of my life the same way — every day that came before is a rough draft. What else?

Beyonce had Sasha Fierce. Who do you have?When I show up to play a show, I become a character. I feel like some musical special operator brought in to surgical strike at the heart of the show. I’m called when you need someone that reads any style, plays a ton of styles, and is fun to be around. I’m a professional. I show up early. I prepare. That version of me is a version of me that only exists on the inside. You see me as David Brady who loves to play piano and have fun. If you want to improve your execution, consider becoming a character. Easier said than done; but give it a try.

It’s a cliche phrase for a reason.I wish the phrase was more real though. Here’s my suggested addendum:…because eventually you’ll do the hard thing, and it will usually be at the end of the day when you’re tired, wanna go home, and this is the very last thing you want to do.

Mark is a man I met the other day. He fishes at a park near Sheboygan, Wisconsin. After Mark finished sharing his life story with me he asked, “what kind of music do you play?”I responded: “I’m a musical servant.”I love the concept, I’m learning to like the execution, and I’ll probably do it again if another total stranger asks me.

There are only 365 keys on the piano. I’m reasonably certain that any chord (two or more keys pressed together at the same time) that could be created, have been created. That means, the aspiring pianist is not going to break new ground inventing new chords. Change in art and culture is done on the margin. The aspiring pianist just needs to go out to the margin of what’s been done before and then try to do things a little differently. That’s how change happens. The same idea works outside of music.Note: this isn’t a blog about current affairs. Musicians riffing off each other is a thing that’s been done since humans banged things together to make sound.

I had two tough feedback conversations today. The contents and the reason for the feedback don’t matter. I think what might interest you is how I processed what I intended to say without hurting the other person’s feelings. Here’s the process.I do not factor the other person’s feelings. Trying to factor in someone’s anticipated emotional state as a result of a stimulus is like predicting the weather in a distant city based on today’s wind direction in my backyard. I inventory my emotions for the very same reason as point 1. I consider my intention and the outcome. My intention is to improve the relationship through honest and transparent communication. If I share what I need to share, then me and the other person get to find common ground and grow together — win win. I consider execution. I edit and re-edit my idea until there’s nothing left but exactly what I mean to say. I ask myself if I’m speaking the truth.I consider the humanity of the other person. They have complicated lives, they are probably doing the best they can, and they likely don’t want to hurt people. They value honesty because they told me they do.I deliver my feedback.They both ended with laughter and a genuine “I love you and happy you’re in my life.”

The top posts, measured by engagement, from 2023.Benefits of a Decision JournalAre You Getting What You Want?Rethinking interviews.Did we get what we hoped for?You don’t need to operate on hard modeI’m not quite sure how many posts I’ve written; but the journey is fun. I hope you are continuing to receive value too. I’m looking forward to 2024.

I watched Aliens and Prometheus last night. My takeaways:The humans in both stories valued the opportunity to discover a way to extend or destroy life over the value of their own lives. The majority of judgments made smacked of noisy decision making processes.The androids in both movies demonstrates a pragmatism that is both scary and heart-warming. Decision making appeared less noisy though more cut-throat.I think about today — you and I right now. How many times per day do we ponder the question, If I just push a little more I’ll get my answer? By itself, that’s a great question if we are also considering the second and third order effects of our work. How might we become more compassionately pragmatic? Bishop, the android in Aliens, presents compassion and pragmatism in a nice balance. I’m told his role in future movies is quite the opposite.