Dad has Alzheimer’s. When people ask how he’s doing, I answer truthfully: he sucks. Because who would enjoy that?

That said, what if there was a way to enjoy it?

My dad forgets what I say easily. At lunch, he asked me many times what I do for a living. He would ask me to clarify and simplify each time. Eventually I got so good at answering the question he stopped asking a follow up.

The best friends I have are the ones who vehemently disagree with me. I can throw any idea their way, and I’ll be assured a beautiful push back. I love it. I love it because that push back, that passionate disagreement, makes my ideas better. I get to see what I missed or didn’t consider. Cultivate these people in your life. Choose people who are smarter than you, but don’t have an agenda to push. People who just care about helping you find the right answer. People who care about helping you make your work better.

An aspect of great leadership is intolerance. I buy into that idea. Why?Because I believe that winning matters. If an employer hires me to improve their bottom line, they count on me and my team to deliver. If my team loses, people could lose their jobs, the business could go under, our customers don’t receive value. Winning matters.If I am going to win, I need my team to play the show better than our competition. My team needs to execute near flawlessly. For them to know how to execute, I reinforce what works and I am crystal clear about what won’t be tolerated. Being intolerant sounds counterintuitive; especially if you live in a society that asks for more tolerance. However, human nature is counterintuitive, paradoxical, and absurd. If people are counting on you to win, embrace the paradox and develop a “what we don’t tolerate” list.

I find the output I get from this prompt useful and immediately actionable.Write three most valuable takeaways for a revenue operations (Customer Success or Sales) leader of “___ book title” by ___ author. Generate three questions that would help a team of revenue operations leaders rethink how they do customer experience based on the author’s point of view. Write one key quote from the book that summarizes it.Try it out with your favorite book. Be sure to customize the italics text for your situation.

If you attend your friends concert and don’t like the show, what do you say? You could say, “I didn’t like it.” But would that help your friend do a better show next time? No.You could say, “I think your music may appeal to people who enjoy the love child of country, hip hop, and jazz… I know some people like that. I’ll share your music with them.” The former could be useful. It’s honest. But you aren’t helping your friend grow.The latter is generous. Your feedback helps your friend find the people who would enjoy their craft. Effective feedback pushes work forward.

I think we often forget that humans are irrational and absurd creatures. We look for them to do things in an organized and rational manner, and it never happens that way. You are not excluded.I am not excluded.Perhaps the way to better lead and work with our species is to accept our absurdity. Comics figured this out a long time ago.

Hopefully you get to talk to people who give you ideas worth thinking about long after the conversation ended. The ideas that last are gifts. They are remembrances. Long after that person leaves your life, those ideas will stay with you. They’re a legacy. I wonder if one of the greatest gifts we can give each other is an idea worth noodling.

I wonder…Is the quality of a person’s satisfaction of a thing tied to the amount and quality of their expectations of that thing? The implication is that there’s a sweet spot in how much expectation we give others. Just enough, but not too much. Just for fun…I tried to turn the thought into a math equation just for the fun of it. Feel free to tell me how I’m wrong or how it needs to change:Let Q = experience of satisfactionLet E = amount and quality of expectation created.Equation: Q = f(1/E) (The experience of satisfaction (Q) is the function (f) of 1 over the amount and quality of expectation created (E)).

Before, I used to be a “perception is reality” kinda person.Later, I changed into a “perception is a lie” kinda person.Now, I wonder if I’ve become more Machiavellian: “Reality is a practical and real understanding of the world that enables actual effectiveness. Perception is a notion, a conception of the world that could be clouded by bias, or a fictional story.” I’m still a work in progress.

Deadlines give managers and leaders a sense of security. They give me nothing but anxiety. The one that gives me security is the knowledge that change will disrupt my best laid plans.Instead of a hard deadline, I opt for a “real deadline.” The real deadline is a date that gives an high level idea of how long the project might last. It’s usually 1.5 times my original estimate of a project’s length. Be careful. The extra time is not license to be lazy. If I take even the slightest bit of time to be lazy, I find that I’ve already put myself behind the proverbial “eight ball.”