I think we avoid confrontation because we fear connection. When a relationship requires a confronting of truths a bubble is formed. In that bubble, the parties in the relationship have the opportunity to confront or retreat. But, if one person decides to confront and the other retreats, the relationship stays in a stalemate. The bubble remains, and it gets bigger with time. If both parties confront the truths of the situation, the bubble eases and goes away. People you and I know avoid confrontation. They let the bubble form, persist, and eventually, burst. Better to confront, release tension, and create space for connection.It is an act of love to persevere through the discomfort of confrontation to find common ground.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “the years teach much which the days never know.”People I, and likely you, know are all about winning their day or week. Sometimes, they are about winning their month. In sales or customer success, they are all about winning the quarter. Rarely do I meet people who are about winning the year. It’s a blessing to find someone who wants to win the decade.What do you want your next decade to be about? 10 years from now, what do you want your life to be about? And, what are you doing now to make that happen?The tortoise eventually beats the hare.

My dad would attend jazz concerts. Dad is not a musician. After shows I would ask, “Dad, what did you think of my show?” Dad would respond, “It was… ehhh… chromatic.” Dad has no idea what that means. Also, I didn’t really want Dad’s opinion. I wanted him to tell me, “you did great.”

When people ask you for your opinion about their work, don’t give it unless you know the person well. The person asking for your opinion likely sees their work as an extension of their character - their identity. If you have a low opinion of that person’s work, that person will believe you have a low opinion of their character.

I hear too often, “this person made me upset.” When I hear that I think, Did they make you?I don’t believe that people make us feel anything. If they did, what would that say about self control? Instead, I believe that our feelings are in response to what we observe in the world. Perhaps our feelings are meant to draw us towards or away from something? Perhaps that’s why our feelings often lead to stories.Have you noticed that when you feel negatively about someone you tend to tell yourself a story about them? It’s possible you let those stories stew in your mind. And like a stew, your story becomes more concentrated the longer it sits and simmers. If only we could allow our emotions to be more like a stir fry.

I never liked the phrase, “throw the baby out with the bath water.” I also find myself allergic to that type of reaction. Beware of overcorrection. When teams have bad actors, address the bad actors. When you mess up, address what can be improved and improve it.

If you want your message to stick, then you need to be a broken record.Repeat, repeat, repeat. At least 15 times. Until your listeners roll their eyes.Messages that stick, win.

What is complaining for? Who is it for?No matter how I slice it, complaining feels like a way to say, “I’m not feeling seen, and I want to feel seen, and this is a way for me to force you to see me… because you are sympathetic and will have pity on me.” But what if I’m wrong? What if it’s something more?Complaining could be our way to signal that we need help. It requires us to be vulnerable. If that’s true, how do we complain better?Perhaps we need to complain through a question. Instead of saying, “here’s what’s wrong with my world” what if we asked, “Here’s what I’m trying to accomplish, here’s what I’m trying to do, what am I missing?”Those of us likely prefer to help you reach your goal than listen to you moan. Perhaps.

Music is an art that doesn’t exist. You can’t “see”, “touch”, “taste”, or “hear” music. When you listen to music, you are actually listening to disturbed air. Musicians create music by disturbing air molecules. That disturbance travels to our ear. Our ear drums feel the vibrations and translate that into sound. Our brains assemble those sounds. The listener decides if that assembled sound is pleasing or not. Musicians are disruptors; their art is one of disturbance and vibration. Truly, we are all musicians. If we want to create work that matters, we must disrupt and disturb the status quo. We put ourselves in a position of saying “this might not work.” We say, “hey, I made this for you because I hope it helps.” Don’t be afraid to disturb the air.

What if “save as draft” was an option for texts? What if “are you sure you want to send that message” was a prompt we receive before we speak?The prompt always existed. Why aren’t we looking out for it? If we notice it, why aren’t we listening to it?

I wanted to stop piano lessons because I didn’t like practicing - I wanted to quit. My mom encouraged, strongly, to keep it up - don’t quit. I persevered. I enjoyed a rewarding career as a professional musician.I had a job where my peers were making 80k more than me. My bosses said, “I was hired and paid at a time when the business wanted to hire ‘different’ people and grow them.” I quit that job, without another job in place, because I value myself. If I persevered, I would have to re-prove myself to get ahead… just because I was “different.”Know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em. Life is too short.