I felt like pulling out Meditations tonight because it felt right. I opened up to this quote: “And why should we feel anger at the world? As if the world would notice!”How special must we think we are that we believe our feelings matter to more than just ourselves. They don’t. And really, they probably shouldn’t. Hear me out.The feelings you and I have are ours; nobody else but us can feel them. Others can interpret how we might feel, but that’s not the same as having knowledge of exactly what we feel. It might be our feelings and our interpretation of the world that causes us to act. It’s possible that we we are not motivated to act because we have knowledge of exactly how someone feels. Our feelings shape our interpretation of the world - our story. Others steal our stories when they tell us they “understand what we’re going through.” How can they when they are not us?Our feelings only matter to ourselves. That said…When we see someone in pain or frustrated because they could not create their intended outcomes, we can help. We can see ourselves as one that serves others helping them to make a better life. When we see that story for ourselves we are motivated to help. When we help others create the outcomes they want, we are rewarded with an intense feeling of accomplishment and goodness. That said, the person we helped does not truly care about our feeling of accomplishment, that feeling only matters to us.

Legendary, infamous perhaps, Hoosier’s basketball coach, Bob Knight: “Improvement, especially toward perfection, comes only if the practice is demanding, well thought-out, and constructive, by a coach who realizes that absolute perfection is unattainable - but is always the objective."“ Read more in Coach Knight’s book, The Power of Negative Thinking.I experienced the greatest coaching from the most negative people - my music teachers. In lessons, my teachers stopped me to correct hand position, interpretation, or would show me ways to practice. They said, “No, don’t do that, you’ll get this result… Instead, try this…” I learned quickly what worked and what didn’t work. My teachers reinforced behaviors I did well too.“Yes, that’s exactly how to do this thing… when you do that, you get this result…” Catching me in the act, and helping me identify the behavior to repeat. I am told that I coach well. I don’t know if I do or not, that’s in the eye of the person being coached. I do know that my style of coaching comes from the beautifully negative music teachers in my life. Teachers who never stopped to give me some false hope; but, teachers who were realistic in helping me build on what I had. Your improvements will not come from the eternal well of optimistic thought; no. Instead, expect the greatest improvement from your ability to learn from failure. A special shout out to the music teachers out there. Your students don’t know yet know how valuable you’ll be in their lives.

You can find a type of liberation embracing the idea that the only permanent thing in this life is that all life will end. That type of acceptance of fate can help you feel deeply in the moment. You can express more of who you are, you can feel motivated to do the thing you’ve always dreamed of, and you can love the people you are around that much more deeply. I feel closest to those I love when I tell myself that my next second with them is not guaranteed. However, the acceptance of fate and death does offer you an alternative to a mindful and content life. The gambler surrenders reason and wisdom to the wind in exchange for ill-informed chance. The gambler embraces the “you only live once” creed and throws caution to the wind. The gambler does not stop, still the mind, and pull forward wisdom from the past. The gambler cannot endure. Life is a long game; there are no “quick wins”. To win at life, you must temper the spirit and endure.

You are likely not.The fact that you know that you are not where you need to be is half the battle. Your next step is to still your mind and experiment.What if I go here? Does that help me get closer? Let me try. How far did it get me now that I took the step? Let me go back to where I started and try again.Wash, rinse, and repeat. Eventually, you’ll arrive.

“We are what they grow beyond. That is the burden of all masters.” — Yoda

Our teachers, our parents, the people in our lives that we admire; they are the starter to our bread. We take what the ideas and insights those people gave us and build. We grow, we innovate, we create jazz.

I know that I am my mom, dad, teachers, leaders; and I will my role is to master the best of who they are and grow beyond. I can’t thank those people enough for being the masters in my life.

There are questions that sting.What were you thinking when you…, Why did you…, Don’t you care…. The questions sting because they cause you to doubt. Doubt stings because it causes you to think, what if I was blind to what was in front of me… what if I’m not as good as I thought… what if it was all a lie… what’s real?Uncertainty stings because what we crave most in this world is stability - certainty. Certainty = survival.But here’s the thing… nothing is certain except that life is uncertain.We need to surrender and submit to uncertainty. It’s not natural to have certainty and a cushy life; that’s a red herring. What’s natural is chaos, complexity, and that all life forms will work for their own self-preserving interests. The question doesn’t sting. What stings is that you might have forgotten what life is about.

It stings for a moment, but eventually fades away… yet always lingers.When you take one to the gut, you must stand up straight and face the opponent head on; you must get back in the fight.The fight is where the outcomes happen; where effort meets reality. Get up and get in!

“There is no fate worse than being continuously under guard, for it means you are always afraid.” - Julius CaesarTerrorism is a form of fear producing war involving the lowest amount of effort to produce the maximum amount of downstream consequences - including psychological. When you allow it, your mind is a terrorist. I think that what we might fear most is ourselves. Going deeper, maybe it’s us holding ourself accountable. Perhaps we fear being held to account for our actions. When we are held to account for how we behaved and why, we necessarily doubt. We go back in time and we wonder, was my understanding of the truth back then real? Life suddenly feels uncertain. Why should you be held to account for what you didn’t know? Because what is certain is your present experience - right now. Now is certain. What you believe and what you perceive now is certain. You can only make decisions base on what is in front of you now. You must accept that there is more out there that you do not and can’t know; and that’s okay. And, you must accept that you will be held to account for what you do now; be comfortable with that.Be comfortable knowing that you don’t know what you don’t know. Be comfortable knowing that you know there are things you don’t know.Believe that being perfect is being “a work in progress.”

“As dripping water wears through rock, so the weak and yielding can subdue the firm and strong,” - Sun Haichen, Wiles of WarYou and I are the weak and yielding at times. And, like we water, we can wear through rock. If we can persist, drip by drip, we can make an impact. Drip by drip. Don’t underestimate what you can do.

Saying “no” to things is actually saying “yes” to you and your time.You don’t have much time, and everybody would like to compete for it. I heard a saying once, “you can tell a lot about a person by where they spend their money.” I add, “you can also tell a lot about a person by how they choose to spend their limited time.” It’s one thing to give of yourself fully to others. However, when all you do is give your time to others, you’re operating at a net loss to yourself. Saying “no” solves that.Check your calendar this next week - where is your time going? How much of your time are you giving back to yourself?