When you’re overwhelmed, try putting a hand in front of your face. Cusp your hand as if you’re holding something adorable. Inside your hand is your fear and stress. Look at it, adore it, wonder about it. Say to it,“Let’s be friends…”

Nothing in life happens in isolation; everything relates to one another.Even when we operate in a silo, our operations have downstream consequences. When we start to see the interconnectedness of things, it’s easier to collaborate and serve others. The silos we operate in might not be real. Instead, we might be concealing, separating, ostracizing, or excommunicating ourselves from others. In any of those cases, our actions will have equal and opposite reactions. It’s science.

In war, “your real enemy is your opponent’s mind. Their armies, their resources, their intelligence, can all be overcome if you can fathom their weakness, the emotional blind spot through which you can deceive, distract, and manipulate them. The most powerful army in the world can be beaten by unhinging the mind of its leader;” from Robert Greene’s, The 33 Strategies of War. Understand: your real enemy may be you - your resistant you.The resistant version of yourself keeps you from doing work that matters. It says you’re not good enough, and causes you to doubt if success is on the horizon, what if you fail? Why bother? That version of you is your enemy; and like any enemy, it has a weak spot. Your resistant you lives off your fear. The more it causes you to fear, the more you won’t try to understand it. To beat the resistance you must face it head on with love and compassion. Yes - you must love that version of yourself. You have to be able to say, thank you for showing up right now, I’m going to be okay. Self love and compassion are your secret weapons. Your real enemy is not your boss, it’s not your weak, it’s not your debt, and it’s not your art. Your real enemy is your self. Show your self love and compassion.

“Opportunities are changing ceaselessly. Those who get there too early have gone too far, while those who get there too late cannot catch up. As the sun and moon go through their courses, time does not go along with people. Therefore, sages do not value huge jewels as much as they value a little time. Time is hard to find and easy to lose." - Huainanzi, China, Second Century B.C.

Winter can be dreary, depressing, and dead. If you choose to see it that way. Winter can also be alive.If you live in a place that gets snow, consider walking through a park; better yet, a forest. While walking, stop periodically and listen. Listen to the sounds of birds chirping, woodpeckers looking for bugs, snow falling, or squirrels scurrying. Look at the branches close to the forest floor. Pay attention to the scaled over buds waiting to burst when spring arrives. We underestimate how much life winter brings. It’s a beautiful time of year.I hope you get to enjoy it.

Creativity begins at the constraint. When you have reached the limit yet need to produce work, creativity sets in.When it’s time to play and you haven’t practiced your Handel piano sonata, creativity sets in.When your nephew refuses to do his homework because the system is beating down on him, creativity…Just like culture is created at the extremes, creativity is created at the constraint. If you want to be more creative, create and embrace constraints.

Steven Sample in The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership writes:The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that they are a good driver, (2) that they have a good sense of humor, and (3) that they are a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening. But contrarian leaders know it is better to listen first and talk later. And when they listen, they do so artfully.What’s artful listening? We go to piano accompanists for the answer.Here’s how I, and other accompanists, listen:Pay attention to how the soloist breathes.Develop a deep understanding of the subject/topic/repertoire.Collaborate with the soloists to understand their vision and offer ideas.Reflect back our understanding of what will be performed and how. Offer thoughts to help the soloist be there best.Receive ideas to help do our job as accompanist better.Listening is so much more than hearing words and interpreting them. Listening is empathy in action.

Too often managers build a perfect job description and hope for the perfect fit candidate. Like the candidate was pressed in a factory. Not often enough does a leader hire the person with the right set of skills and experience. A leader who hires someone like that can customize the job to fit that person’s unique skill set. Team building is about building what you don’t have enough of - complimenting your weaknesses with another’s strength. That’s how great teams thrive.

To live under constraint is a misfortune, but there is no constraint to live under constraint.” Seneca quoting Epicurus, Letters XIICulture creates new culture at the constraints. You know you’re at the constraints when you’re asking questions like:Where do we go from here?How do we handle these types of problems?What do we do now? Has anybody seen this before?When you are in those moments, you get the opportunity to create culture. What if we do…How about we…I recommend we… I’ve seen this work in the past elsewhere, we could that … here…Enjoy the constraints.

J., a musician, once told me that “to play music and get paid for it is a privilege, not a right.” For the longest time, I held that idea close to my heart. 20 years later, I believe now is the time to consider a change.To bring joy to others is service to others. To get paid to bring joy to others is a privilege, not a right. The other night, I lived that creed through music. Today, I live that creed as a leader. How do you live that creed?