What do you want this moment to be about? This day? This month? This year? If you are in the habit of setting a resolution, instead of thinking of hitting the gym and all the things you’re going to do… can you try to center on just one thing?The one thing that if you accomplish this year it will absolutely change and alter your life in an immeasurably beneficial way? Then, think, what’s the one thing I need to do this quarter so that I can accomplish the one thing this year?Then, what’s the one thing I can do this month so that I accomplish my quarter one thing?Keep going down until you get to - what’s the one thing I can do right now? The distance between where you want to be and where you are closes with just one small step.Happy New Year!
My grandmother made a mean ginger snap cookie. Just enough crunch on the outside with a soft and chewy center. There are two versions of the recipe she left us. Version 1 - uses 1 eggs and 1 cup of lard; and Version 2 uses 2 eggs and 1.5 cups of lard.If you use follow both recipes verbatim you don’t get as chewy a cookie. Why?Because Grandma Brady didn’t share the whole recipe with you. What Grandma Brady didn’t share is that you use 1 whole egg and 1 egg yolk. The same hack used to make super chewy chocolate chip cookies, too. Recipes are culture.There are things that people in the know, know. If you’re not in the know, you don’t get the benefit of being the insider. Excluding others can be a benefit. Grandma Brady held this recipe hostage so her grandkids would beg, scream, kick, and negotiate with their parents to see her. Even after she left us, she still held something back. Some things are meant to be for you. Keep them safe.
They are going to piss you off, get in your way, obstruct you at every turn, show only their selfishness, ridicule you, judge you, take from you, and make your life utterly miserable. Tell yourself that every morning.Then, when you encounter someone who is not that, watch how much you’ll appreciate that person.Sometimes negative thinking helps us appreciate the positives.
When I worked on cruise ships, I would get maps to help me navigate ports of call. Invariably, the maps weren’t any help. Buildings, streets, landscapes all changed. Many times it landmarks the map would use to orientate the traveler were not in view because of dense old cities. Instead of using the map, I had to pay attention to the actual territory.I developed a sixth sense for knowing where the water was at all times. If I could find the water, I could find the ship. A map is like a plan. It shows landmarks (milestones) and possible routes for effective tours. However, the map is not the territory, it’s only the gist. If 2022 taught me anything at all, it taught me that the map is not the territory. What you believe in your head to be true, may not be true. Instead, use a map/plan to give you a big picture, and then leverage your ability to study what’s right in front of you to navigate towards your destination. Develop a sixth sense for what’s most important, and anchor yourself to that. The map is not the territory.
I found this gem from a few years ago - the Ulysses pact.Truly - I am still working on keeping the promises I make to myself. What I’ve learned in the last few years is that the more specific and time bound the promise, the more likely I’ll stay with it for a bit. However, the more simple and broad the promise, the more likely I’ll keep it for longer.Example…Short commitment: Stop eating after 2pm. Long commitment: Keep yourself open to new experiences that promote your wellbeing so that you can help others. The former was good for a while, but it’s the latter that has allowed me to flex my interests and keep me from being too rigid. That’s what works for me. What works for you?
“It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them.” - The old woman from The Alchemist, by Paulo CoelhoThe simplest ideas - the ones that even a toddler can understand - are the ideas that spread. It’s no wonder that military organizations, the CIA, songwriters, musicians, bloggers (i guess), execs, and so many others struggle to find ways to make their ideas simpler. It’s like weight.It’s easy to put on weight, but it’s mission to get rid of it. The simplest way to get rid of weight is to take in less calories than you spend. That simple. Most people know that. So why is it so hard? Perhaps we want to believe life is more complicated than that. Nothing can be that easy, right? I’m convinced that the geniuses in our midst don’t ask that question. Instead, they ask, Why is nobody seeing this yet?Perhaps the old woman was on to something.
The answers you are looking for - you know, the deep whys and hows about your life - are not in books. I can say that with 100% confidence. How can I say that? Because the authors are not you. Nobody knows how to live your life, because they’re not you.Nobody knows better, because they’re not you.Nobody knows why, because they’re not you.You are you - and you know best.Then why do we look to books? For that answer, we turn to a book.In the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (spoiler alerts), a race of beings create this massive computer to find the answer to life, the universe, and everything. The computer would take millions of years to compute the answers. When ready, the computer gives the answer. The humans are astounded and pissed.An answer is meaningless without a question. We turn to books for answers to an unknown question. Because we do not yet know the question, we cannot make the answer meaningful. Authors of self-help books about fear, grit, and not giving a !@#! have a hunch about the question you’re trying to answer, but they’re not you.The answer is not in a book. And the answer you are actually looking for is a question. What’s more than this?How far will I go to find out?Why me?
When I see people engaged in something hard, where the odds are against them, and where the work they’re doing is massively bigger than themselves - I always ask, How far will you go?How far will you go to answer the calling in the back of your mind or deep in your heart?How far will you go to help others see more in themselves?How far will you go to not let yourself be all you can be?How far will you go to do work that matters?In variably, it’s the moments where characters go to lengths far beyond the extra mile that break me. If you’re reading this blog, you likely know what it means to feel underestimated. How far will you go to show those who underestimate you that they were wrong? What do you want and How far will you go, “the quality of our life is directly proportional to our ability to consistently have good answers to these questions.” - HT to Rohan from “A Learning a Day”
My mom sometimes asks, “what do you want… for Christmas?” My reply is, almost always, “a used book” or “we have too much stuff, please don’t get anything.” My mom, almost always, never listens. (I love you, Mom.) My mom asks a question we should ask at work more often. What do you want?
How many meetings have you been in where people meander around their ask in an attempt to soften their request? Why couldn’t we be more direct - like my mom?
I don’t think new born babies are cute and adorable. That’s my opinion. But babies become cute. Then they become two… and eventually evolve into adults. If you’re going to learn a new skill, you’re going to start off as a new born baby - you won’t be cute. But stick with it; grow and evolve. We all start somewhere. We learn to crawl, gurgle, walk, stamper, run, sprint, fall, and get back up.