To be laid off is shocking. One moment you were living your best life, and then suddenly it was all over. I try to put myself in the shoes of someone that’s been laid off, and I feel a tremendous amount of depression. Similar to how the author of “Everything Happens for a Reason” felt when she discovered she had cancer. A shock. I grew up Catholic. In the Catholic church we celebrate a day called “Ash Wednesday".” During this holiday Catholics attend church so that a priest can mark their forehead with the sign of the cross. That mark is not invisible though.The priest will dip their thumb into a container of ashes made from burnt palm fronds. It signifies death; ashes to ashes. What does this have to do with layoffs?Every day ought to be like Ash Wednesday. We should wake up every day and remind ourselves that this life in could end at any moment. Our job, our loved ones, our health - it all could change. We must allow that mark to act as a kind of lens that brings the present more into focus so that we not only appreciate what’s right in front of us, but so we can prepare ourselves for what might come. Layoffs are shocking, and painful, and my heart hurts for those who have gone through them. I am not naive to think that can’t happen to me. I am trying to live each day as if there was a mark on my forehead. Perhaps there’s something in your life that serve as a mark? A coin, a symbol, a post-it? I don’t take these words for granted, and I don’t take you for granted.Right here right now, you are what matters to me.
Sometimes C+ work is A+ work. The value is truly in the eye of the beholder. If you struggle with shipping less than your absolute best work and the person you’re shipping work to says C+ work is just fine… then C+ work meets the need. Ship it. If you are struggling because the work is not A+, then you’re not serving the person who wants your work; you’re serving yourself. Work to serve others.
Don’t give into it.Even if it feels like the world is ending, the family is coming apart, there’ isn’t enough time to get the email out, that work is creeping up on you like a bad joke, or that you are feeling the worst kind of depression… don’t give into it. For many this is a wonderful time. And for many still, it’s a time when energy is at a low. Take care of you!
This week and next week I’ll have attended 2 memorial services. I didn’t lose anybody in my family, but friends lost people. How appropriate that I should have just completed the book that I’ve been gushing over the last two days.
I reflected on both experiences and I realized that I feel a deep sense of “loss.” Loss of what? Time.
Every moment needs to count.
There isn’t enough time for things that don’t add value. And adding value doesn’t mean “there’s something in it for me.” What’s been a value add in the last 24-48 hours?
“Plans are made. Plans come apart. New delights or tragedies pop up in their place. And nothing human or divine will map out this life, this life has been more pain than I could have imagined. More beautiful than I could have imagined. My well-laid plans are no longer my foundation. I can only hope that my dreams, my actions, my hopes are leaving a trail for Zach and Toban so whichever way the path turns, all they find is Love.” - “Everything Happens for a Reason” , Kate Bowler.If you read the book, you’ll read the story of a woman who planned her plans. She needed to feel a tremendous sense of security, of control. You get to experience her wrestle with that addiction; and you get to see capitulate to the overwhelming force of fate. The end of the book brought it all together for me - it’s not about plans, life never goes according to plan. It’s about what you do in this moment for the benefit of others.
I read quite a bit. I don’t read for speed or for quantity - I read for comprehension. This book, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved, is the rare book that compelled me to nearly finish it in one sitting.
The story of the author’s journey with Stage IV colon cancer, a 33% chance of living, and all this after just giving birth to a child.
“I used to think that grief was about looking backward, old men saddled with regrets or young ones ponder should-haves. I see now that it about eyes squinting through tears into an unbearable future. The world cannot be remade by the sheer force of love. A brutal world demands capitulation to what seems impossible - surrender.” - “Everything Happens for a Reason”, Kate Bowler
Iatrogenesis: brought forth by a healer.When this term was used, back in Greek antiquity, the term could have meant a good or bad effect brought forth by a healer. In our time, the term refers to negative consequences (illness or death) brought forth by a medical treatment. Why does this matter?We humans create innovations to heal our problems. The fermenting of grains into a beverage was originally an innovation to preserve grains and extract their minerals at a time when people risked malnutrition. Social media was meant for students across college campuses to interact with each other.Phones were a way to communicate in relative real time across long distances.The news communicated happenings and not (as much) opinion.Some believe even organized religion was a cultural innovation to increase cooperation.The list goes on.Our species’ effects at bringing forth cultural innovations to solve important problems, in some cases, has had the second and third order effect of creating vices and addictions. I’m sure you know people who need to watch the 24/7 cable news cycle - it’s like a compulsion. The one external force that can control us ends up being the thing that we create. … until the aliens come.
As I was falling asleep yesterday I was thinking about the “last words you write”. I woke up this morning thinking, “what are the first words I’ll say?”The first words are like first principles - they are the foundation of your mindset. Do you wake up in a bad mood? No. You wake up - hormones are released, your eyes open, and your body comes on line. That’s what happens, and that’s the moment. The moment where you get to decide:Look at the phone,Look out the window,Stretch,Pick up a book,Look at a loved one,Realize that you didn’t die and that you get another at bat; orThink that there’s got to be something more to this.Your first actions might be one of those bullet points, or maybe they are something different. What you decide to start with matters.
It’s nearly midnight, and I just typed my last word that I need for a project at work. I’m not exhausted, but in my head I keep saying to myself, “just one more word.” What will be the next word?My next and final written words for this day are for you. They are words that try to describe a concept that I have been thinking about all this year… observe -> decide -> act -> reflect. You probably realize this already, but I came to better realize the other day that decisions are the tension that creates action; they’re the fuel. Without a decision, there is no conscious action.The genesis of every win and fail is a decision. I decided my last words today are for you - because I decided that before I sleep, I should do one more thing that mattered.
Laugh.Laugh loud, laugh wildly, and laugh with all you have. Living is a comedy and a beautiful one at that.I spent some time working on a project and found out at the 11th hour that I miscalculated one thing. Ever had that moment? Who hasn’t. Instead of getting sighing and getting upset, I chose to laugh and it felt good.And here’s the thing with a laugh - it’s contagious and it’s positive. My boss and I were able to happily find a solution, because why shouldn’t life be fun?