Brady Helps

As a human, what is actually needed for a good life?Safety from the elements, avoiding starvation, preventing attacks against us by others, being in social groups, work, sleep, play, and time for our selves.If that’s all that’s required - perhaps we stress for the wrong things? Do any of the below create a threat to our ability to seek safety from elements, avoid starvation, prevent attack, exist in a social group, etc? Wasting time;A long line at the grocery store;The person with the ultra-and-obnoxiously long Starbucks order;Drivers trying to pass you on the freeway;Family members that drive you nuts;That guy who won’t let the issue go;Bosses who are not effective communicators; and/orClients that suck.I’m going to try asking myself and my team these questions next time I (or they) get annoyed/stressed. Consider trying it for yourself. The good and simple life is well within our grasp - what keeps you from deciding to live it?

That’s the question my friend, Brian, asked me the other day.I answered, “no, I don’t.”As we continued the text thread I realized that our lives are a constant motion of death to life. Once the present turns into past it is lost forever only to live as a memory, and death of the present gives way for the future we hold in our hearts to become our present - birth.So what could It mean to feel anything about the passage of time? Here are 3-Perhaps’: If we’re saddened by the passage of time, perhaps we’re not enough present in the present. If we’re frightened by the future, perhaps we’re spending too much time not actively controlling “now.”If we’re careless and think “what’s the point” or “you only live once who cares”, perhaps we ought to reflect more on where we came from and what we might become.Final thought“Time passes, and as the present dies and becomes the past the future is born.” - Me… I think.HT and with much thanks to my friend, Brian!

You’ve produced much more than you realize.Your work is likely far better than you originally thought it was.And if you stop to listen, you’ll discover that it touched more people than you intended.You deserve to feel exactly as you feel after that reflection.Enjoy.

"Lyndon Johnson, for all his good and all of his bad, often shared the story of a cook he employed while advocating for civil rights" - Zephyr Wright.

Nobody would have thought that a humble cook could make such an impact on someone such as Johnson - but she did. Her story of indignities suffered ignited a spark in Johnson that would cause him to take her story far and wide as a tool to garner support for the Civil Rights Act - like a bee pollinating flowers.

As a leader or a human, the best thing we can do for each other and ourselves is never to underestimate ourselves or others. The next best thing is to help others by giving voice to people who’s stories haven’t yet been heard.

My last point is to consider this reversal - sometimes the people who’s stories might need to be heard are people you may find disagreeable. Those people who are most disagreeable to you likely are disagreeable because they think the rest of us have forgotten them.

Never underestimate and always give voice to the story of others.

I played for a brunch today in Lake Geneva - solo piano.

When I play solo piano, I realize that my job is simple: create an atmosphere for special things to happen.

Any musician can tell you that it’s not the most artistically fulfilling work - and that’s not what the work is for.

I found inspiration watching people sit back, sip their champagne, and look out upon the lake and I could imagine them thinking to themselves: this is exactly how I pictured this moment.

I also found inspiration when two separate couples came up and asked me to play their wedding song, and one couple asked me to play a rag time piece.

The requests and the rag time piece weren’t the right vibe for the moment, but I obliged. Why? Because the work was for creating an atmosphere for special things to happen.

While I am not a huge fan of the Carpenter’s, I couldn’t help myself from lightly tearing up while I watched two separate couples relive a very special moment in their lives… I imagine them sitting back and thinking, “this is exactly how I imagined it.”

The need to control everything but yourself and your behavior is overrated. Why frustrate yourself trying?You are better off accepting what is and working with what is actually yours - time.

"Nothing, to my way of thinking, is better proof of a well ordered mind than a [person’s] ability to stop just where [they are] and pass some time in [their] own company.” - Seneca, Letter IIThe hardest lesson I have learned in the last 10 years is that - to learn how to be my own friend. To be comfortable not just in my skin but in other aspects about me: how I think, decisions I made, where I might go, what I can do, or what I can’t. Self love often takes the form of day spas, shopping therapy, meditation, and walks… but self-love is so much more. It is, as Seneca rightly says, your ability to stop and be content just being with you.

Do you stop enough to ask yourself: What is the smallest step I can take now so that I progress towards my goal? Many of our lives are governed by lists of all types: groceries, errands, honey-do’s, job-related, tax-related, business-related, chores, clothing-relate - you name it. And more often than not I see those lists overwhelm people. What if we stopped having lists? What if we started having the One Thing list. The one thing that I must accomplish today that will make my life better? The one thing that I must do today to make the lives of others better?Indeed, the smallest step towards progress is better than what Churchill coined, “analysis paralysis.”

General truthsYou likely want and try to perform at your best. Others are like you - trying to do their best.You would like to be aware when your performance is less than optimal.Kindness is love.If you want to be loved, love.If you want to build trusting relationships, be kind and help people perform at their best.

What sounds better?I care about you getting what you need to be happy; this job won’t help you get there in this way _____. I’m happy to help you get to where you are going. Would that help?Or…Thanks so much for chatting! It was great talking to you. I’ll get back to you soon. [Recruiter sends you an email a week later declining the job without explanation]Nice is avoiding the direct conflict and opting for an email.Kindness is having the courage to speak the truth and the compassion to help someone move forward.Kindness trumps niceness.