Brady Helps

I made pickles the other day. I'm happy I did it.  

To make pickles, you can pour a pickling solution over cucumbers. Or, you can ferment the cucumbers in for 10+ days. I chose to ferment.

This is an exciting topic for a blog, isn't it?

Well, this isn't a foodie blog, and I'm not a foodie. But this is a blog about doing things. And the process of fermentation offers a few ideas for doing things better.

• Mold can grow if the food you're trying to ferment comes into contact with oxygen.
• Your salt or sugar brine may not be enough to prevent the growth of harmful bacteria.  
• The combination of spices, aromatics, and veggies may not ferment well. Sauerkraut is best - in my humble opinion - with mustard seed, caraway seed, and garlic.  
• Your ferment might go too long - the longer the fermentation, the sour the taste. Pro tip: improve the bio availability of good gut bacteria and nutrients with longer ferments.

There are at least four different ways I can fail. What happens on day one matters, and you won't see the results until later.  

Fermentation teaches me to focus on the process of production to achieve a tasty result. And that the result might be days, or months, off into the future.  

That may be why gardening is so satisfying to people.  

Do yourself a favor, make pickles.

Last night my sister sat next to me at the dinner table. She recently started her first "corporate" job and was asking for advice."I am frustrated that the assistant doesn't listen to me, I need to spell things out, and things don't get done."Her story reminded me of the leadership and communication challenges I experienced in the past. And similar to me, my sister becomes defensive when she's coached."I asked for something to be done Wednesday. And I was clear. Why do I have to change?"My sister and I both have an identity trigger. Maybe you, too. This identity trigger says to us, "You are always straightforward, crystal clear, and remarkably intelligent. It's who you are." Then when another figure - especially in authority - challenges our identity, this voice goes into defense mode."What are they talking about? Don't they know what I'm doing here? Why do I have to change?"I don't find the process of changing behavior a challenge. For me, realizing that I might not be what I thought was is the challenge.  Don't let "who you think you are" override "how others say you are."The others are giving you generous feedback.

But I'm alive. I learned a valuable lesson the other day. I'm not doing all the things I want to do because I lack time. I lack bandwidth. We all have the same 24 hours. But we all do not have the same bandwidth to do things in the same 24 hours. To have space available for meaningful work, identify your priorities, and execute on them. I've written on this before. But sometimes having the reminder helps.

If you know a job seeker that uses LinkedIn, and they want to be contacted for jobs, please ask them to share their contact information with recruiters. Why am I posting a rant today? I help employers find would-be employees and would-be employees find employers. But, that work is difficult when the would-be employees don't give me a way to contact them. There's a life lesson here. If you want help, you need to give yourself permission to be helped and let others in.

The i.c.stars program helps income-challenged individuals skill up in tech, learn soft skills, and land work opportunities. The other day I was privileged to speak with them about my life.  

Now when anybody asks me to share something interesting about my life, I clam up. I don't believe my life is more interesting than anybody else's. I have not lived a life of struggle, poverty, oppression, social injustice, and I haven't faced realities that these individuals have experienced.  

"But, David, you've done so much..." you say. I know.  But hear me out.

I've done a lot, and I'm happy about the things I've done.  

But the things I've done don't define what I'm capable of becoming - and that is where the reluctance lies.  

Instead of telling a life story, I shared a story of someone re-defining themselves multiple times. The story of someone who still believes there has got to be something more. And I shared the story of not allowing a label to define me.  

At the end of the session, I received messages from students. Many of them feeling inspired to do something for themselves. One student, Michael, offered this inspired comment.

"Everything was relatable - from music to your life story, to some of the problems you've faced... I like how you don't give 'labels' like 'black' or 'white' power... I made that quote up just from my time with you 'do not give labels power'." - Michael P.

The past is a label - don't let the past define you.T

he future is a label - don't let your concept of the future decide for you.

Your story is a label - you can rewrite, if you want to, now.

"Don't give labels power." - Michael P.

Now I am overwhelmed.  I have clients who need me to find talent.I have clients who want me to help create more inclusive mindsets.I have books to read for myself.I have music to play for others.I have a podcast to edit.I have blogs to write for you.I am not complaining. I think being overwhelmed can have its benefits.  How?  Because now I get to choose. I get to prioritize. I get to decide what's most important to me and act.  It's a privilege to have options. It's better when each option helps another human.

I thought about writing a happy birthday post to the blog, but I won't. Everybody celebrates annual events, why should I?  No. Not me. I'm celebrating "almost a year."  My almost a year party is a celebration of what almost happened this last year.  I almost went a full year of blogging every day.I almost launched several projects, but then stopped and reiterated.  I almost lost control of myself.I almost lost all the weight I wanted.I almost kept a solid daily routine.It's easy to feel demotivated when you read this list. It looks like I haven't done anything? But I have.I have successfully spent a year failing, learning, iterating, and never giving up - doing.  What have you almost done? And why aren't you celebrating it?Maximum Effort.Read the first post here.

If you're communicating a thought, and you're using lots of words, what words can you eliminate and still get your point across? What doesn't need to be said for someone to understand you? What do you need to say? Scaling from excess to moderation is fine. Seeking the essence is better.

Remember that we cannot control the story others tell themselves about us. But we can help.My friend from yesterday's post, remember him? It was tough for me to share with him how he came across. I want to be supportive - and what I really mean is "nice." But "nice" is not what was needed. An honest reflection is what the situation, and my friend, required - I needed to be a mirror.To reflect someone back to themselves so that they can learn and grow is generous. It's supportive and challenging at the same time.If you love your friends, be a mirror.They'll thank you.

The other day I was playing music with a friend who was stressed out. I could tell he was stressed - he performed poorly, and he wasn't pleasant to be around.  The following day I asked him what stressed him out. He told me that the gig circumstance was not ideal; that the flooring in his house wouldn't get finished due to COVID; and some other personal issues. Though his situation was far from stress-less, he never intended to come across as a jerk.  Today I realized an important fact - he can only know our intentions and our feelings. We can translate what we know into action, but we can't actually see what we do. More than that, we can't control how our behaviors will be perceived. Nor can we control how others will attach their perception of our actions to our character.  How we perceive a situation determines how we feel, our intentions, and our actions.  How others perceive our actions will have nothing to do with our situation. It will have everything to do with how they see our character.Ever try to show others you're fine when you're not using your facial expressions?Ever notice that people somehow know you're not by reading your face?That is the point - we can only control what we put out to an extent, but we can't control how it's seen.