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No, peace has no place in primal headspace. Instead, a useful substitute would be "happiness." Happiness is the absence of a threat. It's hard to feel happy when we see threats all around us - loss of jobs, a new way of living, social distancing, etc. But I want to offer a thought that might fly in the face of conventional thinking - are those actual threats now? Yes, we might have lost a job and, therefore, income. We might fear not being able to have a home, buy food, support our families, or other things. But those fears have not come to pass, and in our moment, we're able to survive. Our threats are not real to us yet, we have time to be proactive and make an effort to change our circumstance - to be self-effective. Yes, we might contract an illness that could kill us. But, at the moment, we are healthy, taking steps to avoid transmission, and supplying our bodies with nutrition. Whereas, we have not yet become ill, is the threat real? We need to be proactive (there's that word again) and make an effort to keep ourselves healthy, avoid living in stress, practice mindfulness - to be self-effective.While peace and calm are not primal emotions, and it might be difficult to feel "happy," it is not difficult to see that the threats are not yet real. My unsolicited advice is simple. Take what's going on seriously.Prepare yourself and improve your life to the best of your abilities. Give your body the proper nutrition, exercise, and rest.Recognize the threats happening now versus the ones that might possibly happen later. Focus on now. Ask yourself, "If I am not in a threatened circumstance now - at this moment, as if something real is about to be taken away from me - like my apartment, my car, my food, my health, my life, or my family; is it possible that I might be at peace?You are not your mind. What you imagine is not yet real. Deal with the real, find your calm, and then do what you can to be prepared for the storm.
Every day, new people are asking me to "like" their social media pages. There were four requests from yesterday - alone. To my mind, I'm happy to see people creating and doing work that matters. But, on the contrary, are they really getting from me what's actually needed to make a difference? My attention.Thinking about social media for a second..."Please, like my page."I like your page.Your page will appear in my feed only if Facebook decides that I look at enough content that your page would be relevant. My questions for you: What good to you was the like in the first place? What did you really get from me besides an uninspired press of the thumb? Do you really have an engaged audience?Do you have permission to directly connect with me?Now think about this...Facebook ads that direct me to your website. Your website offers me an opportunity to subscribe to your mailing list.You now own my inbox, and I receive anticipated, relevant, and direct messages from you.My new questions for you:What produced more value for you?If I don't like your product, I can unsubscribe - isn't that valuable information? Knowing who engages with your content?If what you have to communicate is meaningful to me, you'll be able to see if I clicked to find out more. What insights can that give you?Because I've given you permission to speak to me, you've also received the benefit of my attention. Attention is scarce and therefore, precious.
You tell me."Brady Helps is a channel for communicating insights into life, self-effectiveness, and leadership to a growing demographic of job seekers, explorers, and individuals looking for answers. Or,"Brady Helps is a blog for people. People who benefit from insights, like to explore, and see themselves as leaders. It's also free."Nowadays, I'm used to seeing the first type of explanation - the long-winded ones. In fact, I see so many that I begin to wonder if the simple version is correct. Is it? We live in an age of skepticism. Is what we're hearing real? In the age of "fake news," everything is up for question. To counter this, I propose we move back to basics, embrace simplicity, and seek out the straight-forward messages. If you let it be, life can get complicated. Consider embracing simplicity as an alternative.
Yes, we all have 1000 things to do and no time. There is an abundance of responsibility, but a scarcity of time to focus. You have no time to meet, but a thousand emails, alerts, and pings on your phone.You have no time to cook healthy food, but tons of time to stop at McDonald's, get Starbucks, and drink alcohol.You have no money for whole foods, but enough money to buy the latest gear. Scarcity and abundance coexist.You have time to do all the things you set your mind to do.You can focus on what's important if you choose. Consider you have one thing to do now and a thousand exciting possibilities that await you. But you can only pick one.Choose wisely.
You'll need to show up.You can no longer hide.You might be wrong.You could fail.The others will find out, and they'll talk.The world could be changed for the better.People's lives might be improved.You'll be seen as an expert.You'll be seen as a huckster.You'll be seen.You'll be heard.Taking a stand, doing something that matters, might mean many things. But what is for sure, you'll be seen and be heard.Sawubona.
... and that's alright! You're not going to get all of the jobs you applied for;You're not going to win all of the contracts you'd like; andYou're not going to triumph over every debate. But, if you adjust your mindset, you'll find opportunity.When you don't get the job you want, perhaps you need to target a company that aligns better with you?When you don't win business, perhaps you need to change your pitch? Or maybe they're not the right client for you?When you lose a debate, what did you learn from the other side? Turning losses into gains isn't a consolation prize. It's growth, and growth is life.
Have you heard of the EVO Planner? I use one, love it, and recommend it to all of those like me - the ones that need an effective tool to help them "do" life amidst a crazy schedule. Yes, I could use Outlook, Gmail, or another digital planner - but I don't. I don't because I enjoy the mindfulness of writing out where I've been, where I am now, and where I'm going. Writing out my plans on a piece of paper makes my thoughts real and concrete in a way that no other device can. For me, there's a "calm" seeing a "blank page" that's ready for me to imagine what life will be like later in the day, this week, this month or this quarter. I've written before about the mental GPS. Using tools like a planner, a pencil, and a piece of paper helps my GPS not only know where I've been, but where I am, and where I need to go. What do you use?
Back in the 1930s, David Butler produced a movie-musical entitled, "Just Imagine."
The movie describes a man that was struck by lightning in the 1930s, kept unconscious, and then revived 50 years later in the 80s! In this film, we see how people thought of what the future would appear.
Airplanes have replaced cars, people no longer have names - instead, they have handles, such as J-21, and meals come as a pill.
This post is not about the plans replacing cars, handles replacing names (but funny how that's become a thing), nor is it about steak dinners - it's about being human.
In our pursuit to make life more efficient, we look for ways to reduce - think Lean Six Sigma. How can we get from Point A to Point B faster? How can we reduce congestion on the freeways? How can we produce more for less? The classic American credo.
Clearly, there was a time when we thought meals might come in the form of pills. They're convenient - we don't need to know how to cook, and many of us know how to take pills. If you look at the food now, you might even think we're well on our way there with processed foods such as high fructose corn syrup or American cheese. But then, why is craft-beer and sourdough bread becoming a thing again?
Because I enjoy baking bread, I can tell you that sourdough takes a tremendous amount of time and effort - especially if you're growing your own starter. It's incredibly inefficient when we could simply buy "Wonder" bread from the store, or make bread using a yeast packet. In our quest for efficiency as a race, how is bread becoming exempt?
Because sourdough bread, and other artisanal products, are not about efficiency, nutrition, or the time it took to create. It's about the unspoken feeling, the magic, the delight, of eating sourdough bread.
How we might feel towards artisan-crafted goods, such as sourdough, is how we might think about these everyday situations.
Think about the frustration of waiting in line at the grocery store. We often think the stores don't have enough staff, or shoppers are acting rash. Are these really the causes?
Think about the frustrations of job searching. Recruiters aren't always great about getting back to us when we don't pass. Companies don't want to provide feedback because that creates legal risk.
If supermarkets, or companies, instituted even one of these suggestions - how would you feel about job searching or grocery shopping?
The logical answers are to add more staff or lines at the grocery store or protect the company from risk. The illogical answers are to create delight in a waiting line, invest in an app, or help another human find a job. They are also the answers that change the way people feel.
This is not a manifesto against logic. But it's a reminder that logic isn't always the answer. Sometimes, the problem is not what we're being told, but what we can't see. We have to use empathy, hope, and stories to better understand one another - that which can't easily be quantified.
As Separation ($s$) Increases ($Inc$), so to does demand for Connectedness ($c$) $$Inc(s,c)$$ As we become more and more separate, I believe the chances of us longing to be more and more connected will become proportionately greater. I hope we'll embrace that longing, do things that help us feel something better, and become more human.
It might not make sense, but being human rarely does.
"I didn't know the food was yours," or,"I didn't look to see who the food belonged to." "I can't do it," or,"I will learn how to do this.""No one told me," or,"I didn't think to ask."The language you use to admit your faults matters. When you say, "I didn't know..." we are not acknowledging our inaction. Instead, saying, "I didn't look to see who the food belonged to," clearly shows our self-awareness and suggests what we can do to better ourselves in the future. Don't limit yourself by using vague language. Be specific. Be accountable.