Brady Helps

Why do leaders spend so much time learning how to give feedback? Wouldn’t it be better if we spent more time learning how to accept feedback?The more and more I think about leadership thought leadership, the more and more I wonder if it all means nothing. I read tons of books on leadership, people, communication, and how we influence one another. There’s no mystery. The best leaders help their teams perform their next show better; they don’t spend time adjudicating the past. What’s rarely discussed is how the best teams accept feedback.Learning to be a musician is learning how to accept feedback. Your teacher critiques your performance. You are encouraged to criticize your performance. A jury dissects your performance. Everybody is criticizing you. How do we musicians make it through music school? The answer you thought in your head is likely not wrong, but that’s not what I’m going to share. The answer is we learn to think of our performance as just that - a performance. There are worlds where self worth is not defined by someone’s work. I know. I’ve been there.

I couldn’t sleep the other night because I’m experiencing a bit more energy this week. Inside my mind, ideas were connecting to each other like fireworks. To get some peace from the thoughts, I decided to write out what was inside. The themes:How much time is left? How do I make the most of that time?How do I not repeat the mistakes of the past?How do I do more things that bring me joy? Why won’t I? How long will I keep going not demanding the best of myself?I’m not unlike you. I imagine you think the same questions from time to time. It’s okay. You’re pondering the right questions. Just make sure you get them out of your head.

A friend said, “your life has to take so many twists and turns that you never see what’s on the other side.”I found some truth in that.I think about my life; all the twists and turns. I think of myself hiking on a trail that’s in a valley. The trail weaves around large hills… maybe mountains. You never quite know what’s on the other side, but you know you must advance towards it. I am thankful for those trails.

Happy 4th birthday to the Brady Helps blog. I started this blog as a way to help musicians . Since that time, it’s evolved. Now, I look to help people like you. I don’t know how much I help though… my intention is not to give you a formula for life. There are so many people who do that. Instead, I earnestly try to share with you things that I think about: questions, ideas, frameworks, or ways to look at life. If you’ve been with me this entire time, thank you. You’ve received the equivalent of 4 books for each year that I’ve blogged. If you’re just joining, welcome.

If you consume information about a topic that you’re interested in, how do you test your knowledge? Consider pulling out a blank sheet of paper. Write down all the things you know about that topic. Condense your knowledge into a short and direct message that a toddler can understand. Teach the kid.If the kid doesn’t understand, then you know you have to get better at simplifying the idea. If you are struggling to simplify the idea, it’s possible that you don’t know the topic well enough. That’s good. Keep learning!

I don’t think it’s a secret. The way to get better at relationships is to engage often with those you want a relationship with. I’ve read that the best leaders will send a message three weeks after first meeting someone, and then on a seasonal cadence there after. Each communication delivers some value. How much value can you bring to someone else over an extended period of time? How many people do you want to be delivering value to?Interesting questions. I may try these ideas with some people I’ve recently connected with. I’ll try and remember to share back with you once I learn more.

I am very curious How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?We need more of this childlike wonder… from adults.

Eventually our effectiveness reaches a saturation point — you can only go so far. Better to seek out a healthy balance than push, push, push past past the saturation point.

I traveled to so many places when I worked on cruise ships. At nearly every place, I stopped and checked out the local wet markets. In the Philippines I saw fresh sausage links hanging from a hook, mango, jackfruit, guanabana, small red onions, fish flapping around, and butchers ready to slice and dice pork — or living chickens — to spec. I saw rats from time to time — I think it’s reasonable to expect that in an open market. I become absorbed with the smells, how I imagine some things to taste, and frenetic energy of people moving around and vendors advertising their produce.You can tell a lot about a people by their markets. Home cooks with a discerning eye peeling over each piece of fruit; noticing the smallest detail. It matters. The home cook purchases their ingredients. Ventures home. While walking or taking a local bus they imagine a future where people are seated around a humble table. They are smiling. What they are eating tastes like a memory — something safe, comfortable, and full of love.Food is what we live for — a hope built on a memory full of safety, comfort, and love. HT to Mueed for such an inspiring conversation about Pakistini food today.

I work with lots of Filipinos. Today I asked a colleague, “do you think there’s a difference between how we perceive time? Are Filipinos more ‘loose’ with time than Americans might be - generally speaking?”I loved my colleagues response. We feel like we have more control over our time.What does it mean to have control over your time? I thought about that.Freedom to decide when things start and end.Freedom to spend moments with people you want.Freedom to spend moments by yourself.Freedom to chuck the calendar.When you have control of your time, the boundaries of your calendar become meaningless. True, it means you might keep others waiting for you. I suppose it’s on them to decide what to do with their time. Beautiful concept. How to execute it well… that’s a good question.