I wrote this post for you back in 2020. I re-read it today and thought: what have I been spending 100 hours on?Not enough. Here’s how I’ve dedicated a majority of my time though:My professional practice - account management/customer marketing.Reading books about human nature.Learning how to forage. Thinking about how to simplify my life more. I’m still a work in progress. Where have you been spending your time?
"I'm smart enough to be dumb." - John Brady
If you know my dad, you might snicker because it sounds like my dad. But if you know me, you know that I find that idea profound.
There's a Japanese concept called sho shin - the beginner's mind. It means to adopt the posture of a beginner, novice, or child. Put yourself into a state of intense curiosity - play dumb and ask fundamental questions. Steve Jobs, along with other tech execs, got real into it during the dot com boom. I am into it.
All beginners are curious. How does this game work? How do I play this song? How do things get done around here? The beginner drives their curiosity towards first principles. From that position, the beginner can build their understanding on a strong foundation.
People who practice sho shin ask smart questions, hold off on forming opinions too early, and become valuable contributors.
"I am repelled by people dumb enough to act smart." - Me.
I am my father's child.
I made some edits to Seneca's 78th letter to Lucilius for you."Even if death is on its way for you, though it may come early, you have already experienced every gift that a very long life can offer. You gained extensive knowledge of the world we live. You learned that time adds nothing to the finer things in life. You've learned that life measured in pleasure and through the accumulation of desires must seem short and empty.You are already everything you need to be complete."The person you are now is the result of everything you have done up to this moment. You are exactly the person you are meant to be. You are complete.If you want to know who you will become, start with thinking about the next thing you'll do after reading this sentence.
A friend and fellow reader asked "what is normal" in a call today. Do you know the answer?You might think that a "steady state" is normal -- what's we've always done. Perhaps "normal" is what feels "safe". Maybe it's what everybody else does.I regard "normal" as when what is expected matches reality. I try to expect nothing of people, nature, fortune, or fate. All consistently demonstrate themselves to be consistently inconsistent. I find it abnormal when what I expect to happen actually happens.I think it's fair to say that any attempt to define or establish normalcy is like trying to get your cat to come when it's called.
Obviously I am not a nerd. Because would a nerd try to launch their own virtual server, program it from scratch, and spend nearly an entire week trying to figure it out?Once upon a time, I was a computer geek. I knew a bit about programming, how to make websites, and how to get clients to make websites for. At that time I attended an all boy high school. Piano and music were something I did to please my mom. And then one day, I met a girl while playing a church musical.I never looked back at the computers.20 some years later, I want to get back into it. It's not that I am interested in computers. What interests me is being able to do something for myself. It's why I enjoy cooking, making bread, writing this blog, and playing music.Perhaps 20 years from now, I will look back at my life and think: "Wow, I learned how to craft lots of things that were helpful to others. I wonder what's still out there to learn?"
My friend went to the grocery store and purchased meats, desserts, and all sorts of snacks for the party. His family from out-of-town visited and planned to stop over to watch the game. My friend cooked, set out the snacks, and prepared the house. And then at the last minute, everybody canceled.My friend never received a commitment that his family would stop over. Nobody knew that my friend prepared a spread. My friend expected all these things to happen because "family should stop over."Should my friend expect so much from his family? Should his family expect so much of him?I am concerned that we unfairly expect too much from others. I wonder if we serve ourselves better by expecting little to nothing from others. If we expect less, don't we give ourselves the ability to be surprised by people?I have a working theory: lower expectations of others leads to higher rates of accepting people as they are; higher rates of acceptance leads to stronger bonds.
The service attendee directed me to sit in the visitor’s lounge while my car received an update. I sat in a dark grey leather chair — slightly oversized for me. I pulled out a book and began to read.I first began to notice NBC news on the first television. An anchor with a loud pink suit speaking loudly about something. Another anchor joined in. They spoke with the excitement of someone surprised that their friends threw a birthday party for them. “You guyyysssss!”On the other television a father responded to interview questions about his daughter. I think his daughter participated in a Zack Brown camp. That must be why the interviewer spoke to Zack next. Both televisions were loud, but could not compete against the voices in the repair bay adjacent to the visiting room. Men yelling back and forth at each other. Metal clanging against metal. The two television sets, the men, and the metal were defeated by two competing background music (BGM) systems. One channel for the visitor lounge, the other for the sales floor. The dealership’s open floor plan meant there was no separation between the sales floor and the lounge. Why were two channels of BGM being sent to the same space?Why did the music beat the men and metal? Why did the men and metal beat the televisions?Why did my book lose?
People using airports are usually boarding or leaving planes. These people are voyagers.The experienced voyager knows that the person they left as will not be the same person that returns. They will shed the baggage of their old self to be ready for the dangers, cultures, and fortunate that awaits them.When the voyager returns home they are forever changed. The experiences and trials they endured reshaped how they see the world. They embrace the loved ones they left behind. It's a deep embrace - "I thought I would never see you again.If you want to be a skilled voyager, you must learn to accept the death of the past, embrace the present, and look forward to the future.Even if you encounter rough air this week, I hope you'll welcome the turbulence with open arms. I'll see you in the terminal.
If you want to be a runner, run.If you want to be a writer, write.If you want to be a pianist, practice piano. And,If you want to walk peacefully into the new week, breathe and walk.
David Bowie once said:
"If you feel safe in the area that you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth, and when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting."
Artists work at the edge of culture. We go out to the limits of what the culture allows and then ask, “well what if we take one step over the line?” Comedians are great examples of artists who work that line.
Our work is to produce things that help others do life better. We do life better when we go a little bit further than the prevailing conventional wisdom. All of the people that I have studied who did something worth something for someone else pushed the limit in some way.
You don’t need to look far to find the limit pushing artists in your life. My parents are one example of people who created work (parenting) that pushed the limits of the culture. You happen to be reading a byproduct of that push now.
Look to your own life for those people. Embrace those people as admired role models. Let their image push you to step a little further outside what is possible.