An honor, responsibility, job, money, or a shout out? Or…Some type of symbol that will withstand the test of time?My vote is for the latter. What might those types of symbols be?Spending time with someone.Writing a letter (by hand).Giving a great book.Anything… that is simple, elegant, and will hold its meaning 30 years laters. Are these gifts always possible? Maybe, maybe not; but, that’s what makes them powerful when they’re received.
Plutarch writes, “we should welcome and foster friendships that we form on the basis of equality and justice.” We need that reminder. Why? Because, how many of your relationships are based on that framework?Manager > Individual ContributorExecutive > Everybody not executive.Parent > child.Have > have not.Friend of status > friend of little status.How many of these relationships might benefit from a more equal and fair framework? That said, are all things equal? I think reasonable people can debate that. I offer a simple framework. Ask yourself these questions when working with someone of higher/lower (just to use those words) status: As I look at this person, do I see the story they are telling themselves about themselves? Can I tell myself that story? Can I see that I likely tell myself a similar story about myself?If you can answer definitively “yes”,” then you can start working with that person. Why? Because that “yes” enables you to approach that person with empathy and compassion for their story and their person.The question I ask myself… why are we still trying to figure out how to work with people centuries later?
A former colleague studied Classics in college — he read old books in old languages. For his senior project, he translated the Bible’s New Testament from the original Greek. I asked what he learned. He said, “Often times, the most accurate translation is the one done by the novice.”The novice must translate and interpret the text. Their goal is not to read their own narrative into the text. Instead, their goal is to extract meaning from the words they’ve translated. Thinking about it, I was reminded of the phrase: In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Are we blind?How many different types of ideas are translated and interpreted for us? How do we know those interpretations are accurate or truthful to the original texts? We might never know. My interpretation: learn how to translate and interpret all kinds of ideas so that I rely less on the interpretation of others. What’s your takeaway?
Plutarch writes, “You must wear a cloak suited to your circumstances;… you must not think too highly of or place too much trust in your crown." Instead he writes, “imitate the actors: they pour their own emotion, character, and dignity into their performances, but they nonetheless obey [their part].”I ask, what is the cloak we wear? How do we wear that cloak?
Take a second today to reflect on the last 365 days. Who was part of the story? What role did they play in your story? How are you a more effective person today because of that person? I did that today. I found out that the people who made the largest impact played the smallest roles. Interesting.
I have actively been meeting up with friends and colleagues for coffee. Unplanned, my partners and I generate beautifully creative and absurd ideas out of nowhere. Some ideas include:Get your babies delivered by Amazon - Amazon Deliveries.New music group to tour.Ideas for a cabaret show.Demon children playing guitar to take over the world and how we stop them.How many different forms of vegetation did t he First Nations people of the upper midwest eat and why are we so chicken to eat them?What if we drove through a carwash and never paid?What if your AI consciousness had a conversation with mine? What would they say? Would they argue? What if we sent our AI versions to family get togethers?Weird ideas? Absolutely. But they’re ideas created from almost nothing. Before our conversations, those ideas may never have been spoken before… that we know of. If you want to try something brave, creative, and uplifting - try to create weird and off the wall ideas with your next coffee partner. Is it practical? Perhaps no… unless you think NOT exercising your brain is practical? Imagine a brain exercising… like your brain is in a gym lifting weights made out of “?”. And then, your brain would put down the question marks and go to lift heavier ones. Nobody in the gym notices.
In high school, my friends were (and still are) brainiacs — they have brilliant minds. These friends have gone on to do great work in their chosen fields. What was I like?I was the person who was endlessly curious about many things. I never focused on schoolwork — I still recoil at the thought of it. I threw my mind into ideas that interested me — music, debate, ideas, and having a laugh. Now, decades later, I haven’t change. I am not a scholar. though I love to learn. I am not an exceptionally skilled musician, though I love understanding music theory and creating music. I am not a debater, but I love exploring and exchanging ideas with to hers. I still love a laugh. I played my part — the explorer.The Explorer is the best role to play - and if you don’t play that role, you should be jealous. As the Explorer, I spend my time on endeavors. I’m never quite settled and never quite home. I feel that way as a person, and interestingly, that’s where I feel most comfortable. I hope that you come to know your role whatever it is. I hope that you never give up on playing that role — that your energy allows you to persist in your endeavor.
All relationships have a beginning and an end. Look at the relationships in your life. Where and how did they start and stop? In some cases, your most important relationships had a ceremonious start. A wedding? a kickoff? A ceremony of some kind? A public event where you lay bare your love and commitment towards another person, a project, or an idea. I think of it like a “birth” process. On the other hand, your most important relationships that ended likely had a ceremonious end. A divorce? A termination? A graduation? A funeral? A time where you had to account for what happened — good or bad — and you looked forward to the future. I think of this like a “death” process.The birth and death processes ultimately end with some type of closure. When a new human is born, families/society (hopefully) often celebrate and initiate the newborn in some way. When a human dies, family/society (hopefully) come together to lay bare their love for that person in a memorial service. Your audience (mostly) only remembers how you start the song and how you end it. Make each moment special. How you start and stop matter.
You and I use thousands upon thousands of gestures (micro and macro) every day to express ourselves. We furry our eye brows when confused or angry. We open our eyes in surprise. You and I may swallow when nervous. Imagine how much we are communicating without even realizing it? The puppeteers behind the muppets cannot express emotions the way we can; they can limited expressions and gestures. Every gesture the muppet made to express itself mattered. Imagine you could only change your facial expressions in 3 ways to express yourself. You would need to really think about how you wanted to change your face and what you really wanted to communicate to avoid being misunderstood or being ignored. The reality is that we have an abundance of gestures we can make, we are often misunderstood, and many times we are ignored. The other reality is that we can do something to change that — we can think like muppet puppeteers.When we want our work to resonate, we can think about using a strong gesture — symbol — to speak for us. What’s a strong symbol?Silence, a hug, a question, a call, a text, an ear, a talk, and lots more. These actions seem small, but as the muppets show us, a carefully placed small gesture can make all the difference.
Start by creating or doing something new that helps someone solve a problem. When we start adopting new and novel ways to solve our problems, the culture changes. You can only do that if you stop and see people as they are first.