Brady Helps

More on defining the fear

Have you thought about quitting a job? More than that, have you thought about quitting even though you don't have something to jump to? What are you so afraid of?If you know that you're afraid but don't know what you're afraid of, consider questions.Are you afraid of making a decision?If I stay, what is the real challenge for me at work that keeps me from feeling effective?What is the real challenge for me in communicating a desire to move on? What is the real challenge for me in deciding to move on?How is this job keeping me from getting to do more work that matters to me?Are you afraid of not knowing what you'll do next?What if I could be free? How might I feel having total freedom to decide what's next? Why am I so afraid of being free?Do I have enough money to survive without a job? How might I save up more so that I'm in a safe position? How much more will I have to say?How will I survive without a job? Can I reduce expenses and simplify my life more? How might I enjoy a simple life? What more could I learn about myself and how I use my time and my resources?Are you afraid of how others will respond?Why do I care what others think of me sticking up for myself? How might I show them how to be happy for me?Do others live my life? Will they be in my grave with me when I cease to exist? If the answer is no, why do I care so much for their opinion?How might I use this as a way to show people how much they mean to me?Fruit is always ripest before it falls.The journey is always most fun just before the end.We have much to look forward to as move on to the next chapters in our life. But what keeps us from enjoy that moment is fear.Use questions to help outline the fear that's in front of you.Trace it's shape.Once you can see it, you can do something with it.

How to appreciate people more fully.

If you want to show people how much you appreciate them, don't say thanks.Don't tell them that you appreciate them.Show them.The person you are now is not the person you were yesterday.The people, places, and things you interacted with days past shaped who you are now.How did those people, places, and things shape you? What did they show you?How did they challenge you?Appreciate people better by showing them how they challenged you to be a better person today.What we want to see is that we can make a difference.A way to see that is through someone else showing us what we did.

Under pressure.

The pressure you're putting on yourself isn't helping you. It's also not helping the people you seek to serve. What we need from you is to consider the problem from all angles with the time you have, make a decision, and act. There will always be time to reconsider the result of your decision from all angles, make a decision, and act again.Release the pressure.

Can you be your own best friend?

Yes. Absolutely.Answer these questions:Would you let your best friend treat you like shit? Walk over you? Talk down to you? Make you feel less than a human?Would you overly criticize every little thing that your best friend does? What they wear? How they talk? How they walk? How they show up? How they think?Would you allow anybody to talk to you the way you talk to yourself?If the answers to the above are "no" you are well on your way. What's next?Treat yourself better. Accept things as they are. Be able to say and mean, "I messed that up, and it's okay. I'll get 1% better next time".Grant yourself grace. "I'm a work in progress. I know that. Nobody asks me to be perfect. They ask me to do my best. If I fail, great, now I know how to do better."Love yourself. Practice what you preach. If you wouldn't let anybody talk to you the way you talk to you, then stop talking to yourself that way.Easier said than than done, right?Yes, you're right. Nothing worth believe in and doing ever is.In fact, we should be wary of anything that promises easy returns.What to do?Practice. Each day practice. Try to get 1% better.Be thoughtful about one more decision.Think one second longer before speaking in one conversation.Accept one more thing about yourself.Practice being a better you.You've got this.

The center of the storm - the great calm of being a Music Director

The Music Director (MD) of a theater show is at the center of the noise - lots of noise.All at the same time, a MD is:Watching the stage;Cue'ing singers to make their entrance;Cutting off choruses;Listening for balance;Cue'ing musicians to enter;Cutting musicians off;Maintaining balance across the orchestra/band;Playing their own part;Listening for cues to start the next song,Listening for cues to finish the vamp;Making notes for future shows;Wondering if the sub that's playing the keyboard 2 book ever took a lesson;Thinking who will play the keyboard 2 book after they fire the sub; andNot saying a word.The MD stays at the center of it all.She never gets too far ahead.She stays present, calm, and still.Waiting for the next cue.

What if it's our perceptions of things that hurts us?

People upset every day in some way. But what if it's not the people that are upsetting us? What if it is only a perception? And what if a perception can be mindfully explained away?"Nowhere you can go is more peaceful - more free of interruptions - than your own soul." - Marcus AureliusWhen the news, a person, a text, a post, a baby, or disruptive moviegoer, or your snoring partner upset you... and you feel like getting outlandishly frustrated - stop and go within. Ask yourself:What is it that's making me upset? What is causing me to feel wronged?What if I could let it go? How much stronger might I be if I endure it?Can I describe how I might feel seeing myself stepping through this equanimity? How might I feel?Try to remind yourself to try that next time you feel wronged by someone.Consider enjoying the feeling of seeing yourself grow and be better than you were yesterday.

On doing what you can now.

Helpless? Trying to figure out how to help? What if you could do more?Life invites us to be courageous enough to do what we can now. Not later, not halfhearted, but fully and now.What can you do now?If you're in Hungary, use outdoor'sy skills to help refugees.Donate a resource - time, money, or skill.Become informed. Welcome all viewpoints and develop your own idea.Help someone across the road.Pick up the trash you see on the sidewalk while walking to your car.Listen to someone who's feeling like an outcast.What if I don't?Nothing... but also nothing you will receive, and nothing is how much growth you'll have.Not everyone is cut out for a crusade. Everyone can do one small thing every day to help someone else.Do what you can now.

What if we refused the status quo?

When people tell you "no, that can't be, shouldn't be, we tried and it won't be done", that's when you ask, "well, what if?""What if" opens the door to a world of possibility.Possibility invites us to think about "How" we might make things better.How we make things better is "What" makes change happen.What if you refused to accept the status quo more often? How might that help you help others?

What you won't do...

As much as I love Bobby Caldwell's song, this isn't about that. It's about value investing, return on investment, and the story you tell yourself about your value. When you take a job, you give an employer time, skill, and knowledge so that you can help them be profitable. In exchange, you get a salary and other benefits - a dividend. But before you take the job you think to yourself, how will this job make money for me? When will it make money? What will my return on investment be like? Do I know the industry enough to feel comfortable this will succeed? Jump forward, now you're in the job.You continue investing your time and skill and you receive the salary. But, you start to find the value of your investment is decreasing. Other people are investing the same as you, but they are receiving a much higher yield on cost than you. The value of your investment decreases. Do you stay, collect the dividends as and when they come, and hold the investment who's value is decreasing? Or do you sell at a loss, learn, and move on? Perhaps you're only holding the investment because you want the dividends and don't care about the decreasing value of the stock? Perhaps you were waiting to see if things would change? Perhaps you're afraid of what would happen if you sold? What would you do? And more importantly, what won't you do?

Forgive the past.

What we did in the past is in the past. It's over. It's over the second you breathe your next breath. It's over the moment your heart beats its next beat.What you did a moment ago is a lesson. You can do it again and do it better right now.The real challenge, for me, is giving myself space to forgive myself for the moments in the past. Where I have grown the most is when I have seen myself not repeat those mistakes and instead, embrace the hard work of doing the work of getting better.Forgive and learn from the past. Apply what you learned to the moment now.