Brady Helps

Remember the elephant from yesterday?Have you ever experienced what happens when we don't address the elephant? When we don't name our fears?For me, and for others I have observed (perhaps you have to), the emotion we most often show is anger.We get angry that nobody is talking about the thing.Angry that we're not dealing with the actual problem.Angry that we're not listening to each other.Angry that you are not listening to yourself.Angry that you might not live up.Anger is the emotion we experience when we are unwilling to fully embrace our fears as if it were an old friend, to dance with it, and make it a partner in our art.Why be angry when you can face the fear head on?What are you unwilling to face?

Coworkers and I got together yesterday to bond and enjoy each other's company. A small group of us got into a conversation about addressing the proverbial elephant in the room.The problem with the elephant is that nobody wants to say it's there. Nobody wants to acknowledge it, greet it, welcome it to the party, and ask what it needs. If the elephant was a house guest, we could be the rudest of hosts.But what I notice, and what my coworker rightly observed, if we name it - address it - say it's name - the elephant becomes a friend.Fear doesn't want to be named. Because if we name it, it can't control us. Remember, fear wants to be your friend, but your "friend" in the shadows, whispering toxic nothings into your ear.But say it's name, shine a light on it, and see it for what it is - the game changes.Suddenly we see what we were keeping ourselves from.And now that we see, we get to decide what to do next - pick up your feet and take a step.The elephant in the room has a name.Say it.

Do you want to be happy? Of course you do! Silly me. What kind of question is that?Why aren't you more deeply happy, content, and fulfilled in all things now? I believe that happiness occurs through perfection. I believe that perfection is the acceptance of imperfection.Therefore, to be happy, you must be able to accept the imperfect. We could be stripped of our assets, live in hunger, and wonder when we'll get our next clean glass of water; and still find a way to be happy.Your partner could ruin your life, hurt you, and leave you for nothing; and you could be happy.You could hate your job, your boss, the stress of change, your status; and you could be happy.Marcus Aurelius writes that "we can accommodate and adapt" that the "impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, becomes the way." What if we could accept the obstructions to comfort and an ideal life, could we still be happy? Yes. And, what if we were deeply happy? How might the world be different for you if you accepted all that came your way, embraced it, and made it part of who you are now? If you can imagine what that life would be like, what keeps you from picking up your feet and stepping towards that life now? What is getting in the way of your ability to choose? Whatever that is, that's what you need to embrace. Love your fear.

When you think of legacy, what do you think of?Philanthropy?Something that you have built at an organization?Money you have helped others make?Statues and monuments?Your children?Having changed the life of another?I think of passing on a sense of self-determination. That you get to realize where you want to go, who you want to go there with, and that you got to decide to pick up your feet and go there. Think about leading humans.Many humans are comfortable working with "top-down" managers. "The boss tells me what to do, I do what the boss says. We don't question the boss." But I don't lead that way, and I hate being led that way. Instead, my leadership style is to help my team realize, "You get to choose where we will go, and I will have your back. What are you afraid of? Take the step."The legacy I am leaving behind is helping people realize that they could do something worth something for someone else if only they had the guts to do it. I am proud when I see those people move into leadership roles, take on mentees, and move into something bigger and better for themselves - and those they seek to serve.For me - that's legacy. That's the sense about life I am proud to have left behind.If you could leave behind a sense about something, what would it be?

Have you ever tried to spend time alone?Deeply alone.To step into, as David Whyte says: "contemplative intimacy" with yourself such that we start to "live in our bodies as a question rather than a statement."That question you begin to embody invites you to escape from the life you're living now, to seek out diversion, and to avoid what really troubles you - your fear.You can choose to give into the question and divert your attention to the other things.You also get to choose to pick your feet up and step towards your fear.Turn your fear into your purpose; use it to do your work.

When you're tired, it's difficult to move through life's slog. How can you move when there's a new viral mutation? A new disaster? A new political scandal? A new looming shutdown? How to get started on the thing that matters to you?In order to take a step, you need to pick up your feet.Pick up your feet to crawl.Pick up your feet to walk.Pick up your feet to run.Pick up your feet to jump.Pick up your feet to sprint through the slog, the mess, the depression, the exhaustion, the sickness, and the fear.Pick up your feet to take a step.Step into your work that matters - make art.Step into your relationships - help people.Step into living your life - be yourself.Now that you can do that, where will you go?

Years ago, there was a time when I was in Door County, Wisconsin. I was in forest biking on a trail. The forest canopy was dense; light got through, but just enough. As I was riding, I noticed an area where light seemed to penetrate the canopy. Like that scene in a movie where a beam of light breaks through the trees as if to shine upon Excalibur. I parked the bike, and walked towards the light (he writes with a sarcastic grin). As I approached the "clearing" (let's call it a clearing), I noticed a single leaf fall from a tree. Drained of life, effortless in its fall, peaceful, and intentional. The leaf met the ground as your head meets the softest and most comfortable pillow. Soon the leaf will biodegrade and life moves on.Dark thought for the day? Perhaps. But, I believe there to be a beauty in death. All things, no matter what they are - projects, people, jobs, food, gigs, tooth extractions, cars, leases, mortgages, debt (hopefully), school (thankfully) and the other things come to an end. And it's in that end that we get to graduate to what's next - the next piece of work we get to do. After taking in that moment with the leaf, I noticed myself taking the most relaxing of breaths. I looked at the bike, mounted, and started to peddle.

There are so many people out there telling us how to live, how to eat, what to do, what's based on science, what's based on philosophy, what's based on the latest TikTok influencer... the list goes on. I am not in search of "more" ways to function. However, while reading "Meditations," I came across an outline for a way to live. The suggestions are not novel or new-age, they are simple. They are fundamental. And things that are simple and fundamental interest me. Perhaps Marcus' thoughts might interest you? 1. Forgive humanity.2. You are not your body, your breath, or your mind.3. That which serves our nature fully, serves everyone. 4. The world is maintained by change.5. Your time is temporary. Use it. 6. Do the work with intention.7. Respect yourself.8. Make your work meaningful - towards something.9. Focus on living/feeding your soul first.10. Be aware of the function of things.11. Don't allow desire and impulse to guide your action.12. That which cannot harm your character/nature, is neither good nor bad.13. Intellect is for understanding and breaking down life, people, death, emotion, and all that exists.14. Worship your soul. Be attentive to it. Keep it clean.15. The only thing you can truly lose is the present.16. Everything relates and mimics and repeats itself.17. Anger, lack of purpose, disgruntled feelings, falsities, and impulse all degrade your soul.18. Nothing natural is evil.

"The past portends the future." — Dad

As much as I respect my Dad, I don't know if I agree.

I believe that through the past (failures or successes) we have the opportunity to learn and make change for our future self.

People who know a lot more than me describe this ability as "growth mindset", or a capacity for reflecting on and transcending turbulent ordeals with greater resolve and purpose. I think I call it improvising. Why improvising?

Because creating music is creating and building upon the past, present, and future all at once. I play a solo and another musician takes what I did, builds on it, and hands it back to me in the form of their solo. I take their solo, build on it, and hand it back to them as mine. The past is informing our present and our future. We improvise through life.

People like us who have this mindset of doing things better by doing better things, improvise through life. Our past informs who we are now and what we get to decide to be next. We improvise.

What does it mean to be happy? And if you lose happiness, can you still get it back? Traveling around the world, I have seen people who live in circumstances less desirable than mine. And the people I have met who live in those circumstances are happy. But how could that be?Decide.Accept. Be thankful.Decide.Happiness, or contentment, comes from accepting the present - the here and now. To be able to say, "here, at this moment, I get to choose how I will be." And then, to choose to be thankful that you had the ability to say that.Decide that you will accept your circumstance.Accept your circumstance.Be thankful that you got to accept your circumstance.Decide what you will do next. Sounds too good to be true? Of course it is! Who wants to accept that life didn't pan out the way you wanted?Who wants to accept that a loved one will not be spending major events with you anymore? Who wants to accept the moment we're in as a society/culture/human race? Who wants to accept that your family members may not want to spend time with you during the holidays? Who wants to accept that they're getting older? Who wants to accept that they're failing? The answer is, "not many." And that's okay - also, not many people are as happy as they could be now. So what will you do? When you next experience that deep melancholy, will you rise to meet and accept it? Will you decide how you want to deal with it? Will you be thankful that you got to decide?