Brady Helps

Last night, before going to bed, I was almost reminded of things I needed to do today. In fact, I set my intention for today to be a blank slate. Well, I lied, I wanted to be lazy. When I woke up, would you believe it, I was lazy! Slow to move. Slow to make coffee. Slow to read. All around slow. And, I didn't mind. I allowed the day to direct me. Gardening? Check. Bake a bread loaf? Check. Buy a trellis? Check. Think about doing something with my SCOBY? Check. Harvest beans from garden? Check. Today was beyond productive. The world may try to tell you to do things, you may feel you have to write it all down, priorities upon completing priorities… I get it. But, just once, try allowing things just to happen. You might be surprised how much you actually get done. Goodnight. Oh, that pic is not from today. But, it's a reminder that you never know what's on the other side. So, stop trying to guess.

... well, sort of. See, sourdough takes time. Depending on how you chose to ferment or proof your loaf, it can take between 13 and 36 hours of waiting, planning, and simple actions. Is it challenging to make? Hardly, you need 3 ingredients: flour, water, and salt. Are there tricky techniques? Sure, but you can do it without. It won't look the same as the ones you see in the store, but it will be yours. Then what takes so long? It is because a sourdough loaf, up until it's baked, is a living and breathing organism. Fermentation is happening, yeast are consuming sugar, carbon dioxide is being released, and the flour is creating structure through the development of gluten. Here's the thing, it's all happening while your dough is at rest. Then comes the moment you stick your loaf in the oven. How will it turn out? Will it have an open crumb? Will it be dense? Will the inside be soft and custardy? Or, gummy? You'll never know! You have to wait and see.Life is a lot of wait-and-see. Life is a lot of waiting or delayed gratification. Life is unknown. There's no guarantee how your bread will turn out until it's opened up. In the same way, there's no guarantee tomorrow will be better for today. And just like your bread, what you do in the moment - now - makes all the difference. Try to enjoy the moment a bit more today.

Today, I'm hitting a writer's block. A term I hate because I don't think "writer's block" actually exists. We don't have "speaker's block" do we?The challenge is that I've been searching for what to write for you.  Personally, I'm in a privileged position. I'm engaged in generous work with Colorful Connections, a diversity, equity, and inclusion head-hunting/consulting firm. And I've no shortage of things to read and think about.  Yet, here I am with a block. At least, that's how it seems.It's making me think, "what is a block for?"A block is for care.  I am blocked right now because I care. I care deeply about the words I put out to you. Sure, my grammar could use some work from time-to-time, but I am intentional with what I write about.  A block is also for stillness.In the United States, culturally, silence is not always a great thing. Whereas other cultures might do well with stillness, we're not great about here in the USA. That might be to our advantage, as well as our disadvantage.  If you want a good scrabble word, you could say that the block is for “equanimity.” So…The next time you're blocked, think about what that block is trying to show you. Why is it there? What is it for?  To the people I know who often say, “I’ve hit a brick wall,” this post is for you.

I've been having more headaches lately.  

I think that's because my blood sugar has been lower than usual.  I think that's because I've been cutting sugars and carbs out of my life.  I do this off and on. It's a way to combat my bipolar disorder - believe it or not.  

This post is not about diets.  It's about self-awareness.

Some people may or may not understand this about bipolar disorder, but it seemingly robs you of your self-awareness. I suppose that makes sense when your mind is the thing that's running away with you.  

But, despite what the individual may "feel," you can still develop self-awareness.  

For me, that self-awareness comes in the form of high amounts of creativity.  

I am a creative individual by nature, and I don't think that's a curse. I'll never apologize for being that way. But, when I start to feel this surge of creativity, I've found some ways to cope:

• Removing sugar and carbs helps. They help because reducing insulin resistance plays a significant role in improving mood disorders.  
• Write down my ideas. I use a moleskin notebook and an EVO planner to write down my thoughts. Maybe I'll execute them in the future? Perhaps I won't.
• Write down my feelings. I'll share what I wrote down last night at the end of this article.
• Bake. Besides hiking, the best activity for slowing down my mind has been baking sourdough bread - the ultimate form of delayed gratification! (Note: I've cultivated a sourdough starter long before the pandemic; I'm not a bandwagoner.)

I'm writing this today because it's what's on my mind. But also, to let you know that the thing I think we're missing from culture, work, and communication is our humanity.  

Thoughts from last night:

I'm tired now.

Very focused.

Not tolerant of others (read: being disrupted).

My head, temples are sore.

I feel brain drained.I'm not hungry.

But, 

I'm tired.

(I then enjoyed restful sleep.)

(And before anyone calls my family, I’m fine! But I love you, and thanks for thinking of me.)

Here's a brief, and not-in-any-way complete history of thought around quality:John D. Rockefeller was born today in 1839. He once said, "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great."In 2001, Jim Collins wrote the hit management book, "Good to Great." This book would describe "great" companies such as Philip Morris, Kroger, Wells Fargo, and the like.  Also, in 2001, a bunch of developers developed the "Agile Manifesto," where the primary measure of progress is "working software."  In 2017 a boss told me, "Don't sacrifice the good for the great."  In my mind, there are two competing ideas - do we work in pursuit of greatness? Or do we seek progress?  Can't it be both?I submit that the pursuit of either can become confusing. Is it better to be great? Or good? Am I losing one thing if I give up on the other? Our culture likes to complicate. Humans are well adept, dare I say "great," at producing layers of complexity over simple issues. I propose a simple way of looking at the work we do:Does the person I seek to serve need what I have created for them?How will my creation change their life for the better?Am I proud of what I've done?At the end of the day, our goal is to do be invited to do more of the things that make us come alive.  To do that, we need to stop thinking about doing things "great" or "good." How about we focus on, "Did I make a difference today?" and "Am I proud of the difference I made?"  If you can answer yes, then you were productive, and you had a day well spent.  Rest and be content.

It's a bad idea. Don't do it. Why?  Because you don't know what others need.  What if you're wrong?What if the person burns out?What if this wasn't the job meant for this person?The list goes on.  Today, I didn't write a letter of recommendation, I wrote a letter of ability.  A letter that described the work someone did, the things that motivated them, and how they were courageous in the face of change.  I don't think others want a recommendation, they want to come to their own conclusions. But they would like to know what was it like to be this person's boss? What made this person come alive? What did you see this person wanting to do more of?  To answer those questions for anyone, you need to first see the people you lead for who they are and could become.  Many thanks to Chris for today's inspiration.

Yesterday I played a gig (watch the last two songs here). It was outdoors, physically distanced, yet socially together. Was it fun? Absolutely! I was privileged to have this experience and share it with others.  

I consider myself privileged because I do not have the right to play music and get paid for it - especially with many venues closing their doors.  

To do what you love, and get paid to do it, is indeed a privilege. I do not feel shame for this privilege. Instead, I use it to give others something they came to experience, my soul.

The performance of music is many things for many people. For me, it's about the soul. It's about communicating what's in my heart to people that care to listen. This passion fuels this blog, my work as a recruiter, and all aspects of my life. The ability to communicate and for others to enroll in your message and listen is "privilege."

The question is, what will you do with it now that you have it?

The hard part of being "stuck" in-between a rock and a hard place is the perception that you can't move.  I submit you can move.   You can give way to the rock or the hard place. You might not want to give in, and that's the problem.Our internal control freak hates it when reality differs from what we expect it to be. It activates the Resistant You, and you'll start hemming and hawing, trying to negotiate your way out of the circumstance. But, the problem is - you're stuck.  "Unstuck" yourself and move by giving way to the rock or the hard place. Then, be willing to be fascinated, learn, adapt, and find a way to make something beautiful from a sucky situation.

These are 5 short-short insights. What do they have in common?

Medieval Europeans did not suffer lousy music, so much so that they forced bad musicians to walk around town wearing and playing the "shame flute."  

In 1872, Charles Darwin penned his third book, "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals." In it, he writes an interesting passage:

"We turn away the whole body, more especially the face, which we endeavor in some manner to hide. An ashamed person can hardly endure to meet the gaze of those present, so that he almost invariably casts down his eyes or looks askant."

Furman v. Georgia, a 1972 United States Supreme Court case, temporarily ceased executions as a form of punishment in the United States. In his opinion, Justice William Brennan offered four traits to determine if a sentence constituted cruel and unusual punishment. Brennan essentially says that a punishment must not by its severity be degrading to human dignity.

A week ago, I made a mistake that caused a debilitating reaction within me. What the error was is inconsequential. But the result was to find a place to lay down, stew, and offer self-doubting thoughts and assertions.  

I have a Facebook friend who repeatedly posts about her body, how she's proud of it, but also how others have shamed her. She's leaving Facebook (for the moment) to avoid the hurtful rhetoric.

Here's what's fascinating to me.

Clearly, for centuries, people have been dancing with shame. Both internally and publicly, shame has been used to shut our voices and keep us from doing things that matter.  

As both a moral and social emotion, shame is the only feeling that has a dysfunctional effect on the human-animal. It is not productive, nor is instructional. At least guilt has a somewhat instructional component. Shame does not.  

Quite honestly

I'm tired of the public humiliation. But, I'm even more tired of how we shame each other. Be it in the silence of our homes, or the seeming stillness of our minds. If only others could see the internal fight within. Right?  

Fight shame with grace.  

Grant yourself some grace today.

Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Remind yourself that you deserve to be here, raise your hand, and pick yourself.

Remind yourself that others have equally complicated and beautiful lives - sonder.

Remind yourself that anything worth believing was worth fighting for - and that includes you.

I'm thinking of creating a frozen custard stand in a foreign country.Talk about random thoughts, right?I may not ever do it, but I wanted to explore the thought.  I also thought I might share the thought with you.  Here's my thinking:Not many people outside my state know about frozen custard. When I lived in Miami, I had to drive almost more than an hour away to get some!"What is Frozen Custard for?" I think it's for community connection, and communities are for support. The frozen custard stand is a living legend - generations upon generations still enjoy their custard.Something this unique with beautiful associated nostalgia is a compelling product.Perhaps this frozen custard stand would be built in a country that places a strong emphasis on community culture, similar to the small community where I grew up?  Maybe we'd find we have more in common than not? Maybe that would inspire generations upon generations of people to create new traditions? On the contrary, maybe it would spur a culture of overfed and obese citizens? Anti-United States imperialist rhetoric?  Truthfully, I might not ever make a frozen custard stand. But, I can create a culture where people share intentions and ideas that might be random, off-the-wall, thought-provoking, or downright crazy.  Hopefully, sharing these ideas will beget the creation of more ideas.When we share and listen to more ideas, we step into a posture of possibility and creating culture.Also, Learn what Ulysses and frozen custard have in common.By the way, if you're from the Milwaukee area, I don't care what you say, and I'll debate you to the cows come home, Gilles is the best. Hands down and without question.Also, I am aware that the photo might look more like “ice cream,” which I know is different than custard! I humbly request you to suspend your judgment and embrace the spirit of the photo.