Brady Helps

Do you often think of life as a game of strategy? Do you find yourself organizing the people and events in your life as if they're pieces on a chessboard? Read lots of books outlining a specific path to achieve success? After a first date, do you wait 48 hours to message? If you say the right things to your boss, will you get promoted? Coming from the cruise ship world, I often heard people say, "the company doesn't like it when you are honest, so always say how much you love what you do, and you'll get ahead." Really? One time a musician told me that their music director said to them, "David only wants to see you smile and dance, he doesn't care for the music." Really? Folks, life is not a chess game. It's not a game with defined rules. If you say the right things, it doesn't mean you will have the outcome you expect. If you smile and dance while you're performing music, it doesn't mean you're going to receive a raise. All it means is that you don't know me; instead, you only know how to "play me." Except, I'm not a chessboard. If life were a chessboard, every time we'd jaywalk, we'd get hit by a car. I grew up jaywalking on my way to school; as I sit here, I can attest that a vehicle has never hit me. I believe that carefully watching oncoming traffic, and timing my cross with that traffic, I have a high probability of making it safely across the street and saving time. If anything, life is more like poker. I'm starting a series on indecision. The series derives its inspiration from the work of Annie Duke and her book, "Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don't Have All the Facts." I think we can all benefit from making smarter decisions.

As Priya Parker well illustrates in her book, "The Art of Gathering: How We Gather and Why it Matters," there's an art to how we meet.  This entry concludes a series of articles inspired by her work. I highly recommend taking a read for yourself; perhaps you'll find different inspirations?To recap, to better gather your tribe and inspire them to do the "something better," you'll need to:Identify the chosen ones;Exclude those that don't belong;Pick an appropriate size;Serve your audience;Equalize everyone;Protect the event;Encourage connection;Create other worlds;Assert your mission;Perfect the invite;Encourage conflict;Give a gift; andEmbrace the end.If you feel these ideas helped you, share them with others. We're only as strong as the community we build. Help me make a stronger one!

All good things come to an end. Eventually, your gig will conclude. Another artist will take the stage, the gallery will close, the interview's over, or it's closing time — however, the feeling you impart within us last forever. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya AngelouIn theater, we refer to the song that comes late in the show, which brings everything together as the "Eleven O'Clock Number." As a commercial musician, the last song is the one we want people running out the door singing as they leave the banquet hall. "The End" is the combination of the “Eleven o’clock number” and the closing song. Between the two, is our opportunity to share our mission and the call to action. It's not our opportunity to thank those who had us out to play, how to settle a bar tab, the location of the after-party, or similar logistics - save that for earlier. Remember, do not start a gig with logistics and don't end with logistics. Start and end with "mission" and "legacy." The "mission" is your "why" for being here; the "legacy" is what you hope people will do once they leave. Combining "mission" and "legacy" will inspire your audience to pick up your torch and carry on.If you've done your job right, people will forget the song lyrics, they'll forget where they saw you, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. Embrace the end.

"No true gift is free of risk." - Ida Benedetto Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating the US holiday of Thanksgiving! To everybody else, happy November 28, 2019. Are you one of the billion people told that every day is a gift? We should be thankful for today because there's no guarantee of tomorrow? That we should learn to practice more gratitude? If you are like most people I know, indeed like I am every day, you see in yourself great potential. You see a you that's waiting to come alive. But you also might not see the means to make it happen. Maybe you don't have the money, the right network, the right degree, you came from the wrong side of town, people remind you that reality is so much different than your dreams, and you barely see a way out. There are thousands upon thousands of reasons why you are not everything you could be, and it's hard to give thanks when life doesn't give you much to go on. The one thing you do have is an existence. A risk is a threat to destabilize your existence, the way things are now. As earlier mentioned, you have several reasons why you are not coming alive at this moment; your life doesn't allow for it. A gift is an act that fulfills a need. To give a gift is to disrupt one's life to show them something better. To receive a gift requires the recipient to allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to have their being "disrupted" for something better. As an artist, you give gifts to your audience. You let them know they're not alone, you offer a new way to think, you highlight the hardships or successes of others, and you help us become alive through your work. Your gift requires us to destabilize our lives for a moment and allow your work to come in and show us something better. Never lose sight of what you do, how you do it, and how it impacts people. I'm thankful for you and the gifts you share with others to help them see the "something better."

The United States holiday of Thanksgiving fast approaches. Too quickly, in my opinion. As a child, I remember the feeling of coming together, brother, sister, parents, cousins, grandma, aunts, and uncles to celebrate the year and enjoy our time together. I never had the experience of "dramatic" family dinners. Ever notice that, in gatherings, some hosts give the impression that everything is "perfect" when it's not? Feels fake, right? I believe it's because we've been conditioned to avoid conflicts. Think of classic American finishing schools for women; they taught social graces, which included what not to discuss with others - religion, sex, and politics. Now, these and other conflict matters are taboo. Conflict is a necessary part of the human experience. We require conflict to grow. Without an ability to stretch our muscles, and break them, we cannot rebuild stronger than before. In the same way, we must be as intentional with how we introduce conflict into our gatherings. What do I mean?If you want to share your music, which challenges the status quo, invite people with conflicting points of view to engage - create conflict. If you want to generate new actionable ideas, invite your team to debate the good and bad suggestions - create conflict.If you want to be able to discuss politics over dinner, invite those that will be able to entertain a conversation without getting personal - enjoy the feeling of polite discourse. Through conflict, we can find a middle ground. We see how others feel about our topic, and we can then look to discover what makes us the same. Additionally, through conflict, we allow everyone to be heard or seen. To create better art, we must learn to see and to speak. To create better art, we must learn to see and to speak. Think about your next gig, house concert, family dinner, or coffee date - how can you invite healthy conflict?

Lots of people send invitations on Facebook, Instagram, and to their networks with words like: "I'll be playing here, come and see me." For some, this method of attracting people to their concerts works. It works because those friends who attend already know your work. They know what to expect from you, and they like what you do. However, some members of your network may not know you; does this invitation still work? Facebook Friend Requests and LinkedIn Invites are the most common ways people blunder an invite. Today, I receive connection requests for people looking for work on a cruise ship. I'm not an agent; I recruit for a travel company. The inviter never bothered to look at how I describe myself or my work. What's the likelihood I can help?We need to rethink how we invite people to connect. What's our mission? Do we know the people we seek to serve well enough that we can craft a meaningful invite? Is our message relevant to them? "For those that enjoy dancing to swing music from a big band, and I know some like (insert names here), join others like you and attend my concert with Such-and-such big band here, this Friday, at 10:30 PM.""David, I see that you used to work for a cruise line. I hope that was a good move (it was). I follow your blog, and I have a question. I'm hoping to connect with you and learn a bit more." Suddenly our invites become relevant to the people we seek to serve. What can you do to create more relevance for your audience?

I don't recommend starting an event with logistics; however, I do suggest asserting your mission.

The one thing that will fuse you, your team and your audience will be your mission — the cause, belief, or intention that drives your action.

When we assert mission, we not only understand our goal but the "why" behind the goal — we feel it.

If you want to inspire people to act, start with your mission. Assert who and why we are and what we are meant to do. Make our gathering matter.

It's no secret, I've never been a fan of the large annual meeting. Why? I find them to be a waste of time. Why? Have you ever been to meetings that begin with announcements?

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're so looking forward to playing for you, but first, the couple would like us to let you know that the bar is open." It seems logical, right? Start with the logistics.

Never start with the logistics!

"We're looking forward to starting the annual meeting, but before we do, we have some important announcements for everyone..."

When you have the attention of those you seek to serve, do not belabor them with logistics. To those that might say, "but we must address these matters." I reply, "Yes, but let's do it after the event has started. Let's not waste the energy of our audience."

We, Your Audience…

• Are here to experience your art, not to hear about the open bar; we'll find it, don't worry.
• Desire to find the motivation to improve our work for next year, not hear about the give-away; do that after you start.
• Came to do what you hope to inspire us to do.

Capitalize on our attention and energy - protect us and protect the event.

Concerts are other worlds. In this world, an artist controls you with their music, their message, and you experience it all with others like you. Auditions are other worlds. In this world, a stranger asks you to make yourself vulnerable with the hope that your life's work may suit their needs. Mobile phones are other worlds. In this world, bulbs light up, speakers sound, and the device shakes to capture your attention and cause an emotional reaction. A dinner party is another world. You cross the threshold of a door to someone else's abode to enjoy the fellowship of friends or strangers. Diner en blanc is another world. You dress up in white, cook dinner, and walk to a public place carrying your table and chairs to dine, dance, and enjoy time with strangers. This world happens only once. The beauty of the "other world" is found in the freedom it offers — the freedom to be something different, if only for a moment. Try to see the other worlds that exist. There are lots of them. Enter them, explore, and then leave. Then, create your own.

When your tribe gathers, they're only as powerful as the bonds they build and maintain; encourage connection.My greatest regret, from my last role, is that I never had an opportunity to bring together the leaders from the field. I supported a team of seven supervisors that reported to me, and they led a team of approximately forty remote supervisors. Bringing everyone on the same page with the mission, product knowledge, and team leadership styles was a challenge. The more significant challenge, in my mind, was finding ways for these forty leaders to connect more as a group. To realize that they were not alone in their struggles. That they were not only seen but that they could see the others like them. I failed to convince my leaders of the benefits of hosting a conference that inspired this group to bond and leverage each other during tough times. Imagine how much more powerful the tribe would become if they could see each other, feel comfortable being vulnerable (not necessarily deep) with one another, and knowing that one another had each other's backs? Moving forward, I want to create that world where people see each other and allow themselves to be seen. I want to encourage more connection.