Brady Helps

“Opportunities are changing ceaselessly. Those who get there too early have gone too far, while those who get there too late cannot catch up. As the sun and moon go through their courses, time does not go along with people. Therefore, sages do not value huge jewels as much as they value a little time. Time is hard to find and easy to lose." - Huainanzi, China, Second Century B.C.

I discovered that quote reading Robert Greene’s, "The 33 Strategies of War".

The quote reminds me of the whirlwind we live in, and the time we make.

I have a demanding job that I enjoy. Left uncontrolled, my responsibilities easily consume my day. My dad has no job and no responsibilities. His day consists of laying in bed, changing his clothes, and mumbling to himself while he sleeps. When I make space to spend time with Dad, his face lights up.

Dad and I do the same thing we always do. Eat lunch at the Nashota Clubhouse, visit Holy Hill, and drive around. He tells me the same stories. I ask him the same questions about his life. It’s time that he and I invest that we will never get back.

Our time together ends. He leaves the car, tells me to get back to work and on with my life, and he walks inside. He has a pep in his step, and he appears happy. In minutes, he’ll forget what happened and go back to sleep. In minutes, I’ll return to my work and wonder if we’ll have that moment again.

I would much rather trade achievement for time any day. The next second is not guaranteed. We must act like each second is our last. We must remember that the meaning of our life is not our work. The meaning of our life is the meaning of our choices in a moment. What we get to choose.

I go to work now so that I may buy myself more time to trade for space.

Winter can be dreary, depressing, and dead. If you choose to see it that way. Winter can also be alive.If you live in a place that gets snow, consider walking through a park; better yet, a forest. While walking, stop periodically and listen. Listen to the sounds of birds chirping, woodpeckers looking for bugs, snow falling, or squirrels scurrying. Look at the branches close to the forest floor. Pay attention to the scaled over buds waiting to burst when spring arrives. We underestimate how much life winter brings. It’s a beautiful time of year.I hope you get to enjoy it.

Creativity begins at the constraint. When you have reached the limit yet need to produce work, creativity sets in.When it’s time to play and you haven’t practiced your Handel piano sonata, creativity sets in.When your nephew refuses to do his homework because the system is beating down on him, creativity…Just like culture is created at the extremes, creativity is created at the constraint. If you want to be more creative, create and embrace constraints.

Steven Sample in The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership writes:The average person suffers from three delusions: (1) that they are a good driver, (2) that they have a good sense of humor, and (3) that they are a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening. But contrarian leaders know it is better to listen first and talk later. And when they listen, they do so artfully.What’s artful listening? We go to piano accompanists for the answer.Here’s how I, and other accompanists, listen:Pay attention to how the soloist breathes.Develop a deep understanding of the subject/topic/repertoire.Collaborate with the soloists to understand their vision and offer ideas.Reflect back our understanding of what will be performed and how. Offer thoughts to help the soloist be there best.Receive ideas to help do our job as accompanist better.Listening is so much more than hearing words and interpreting them. Listening is empathy in action.

Too often managers build a perfect job description and hope for the perfect fit candidate. Like the candidate was pressed in a factory. Not often enough does a leader hire the person with the right set of skills and experience. A leader who hires someone like that can customize the job to fit that person’s unique skill set. Team building is about building what you don’t have enough of - complimenting your weaknesses with another’s strength. That’s how great teams thrive.

To live under constraint is a misfortune, but there is no constraint to live under constraint.” Seneca quoting Epicurus, Letters XIICulture creates new culture at the constraints. You know you’re at the constraints when you’re asking questions like:Where do we go from here?How do we handle these types of problems?What do we do now? Has anybody seen this before?When you are in those moments, you get the opportunity to create culture. What if we do…How about we…I recommend we… I’ve seen this work in the past elsewhere, we could that … here…Enjoy the constraints.

J., a musician, once told me that “to play music and get paid for it is a privilege, not a right.” For the longest time, I held that idea close to my heart. 20 years later, I believe now is the time to consider a change.To bring joy to others is service to others. To get paid to bring joy to others is a privilege, not a right. The other night, I lived that creed through music. Today, I live that creed as a leader. How do you live that creed?

“When you get to my day, every day is unday.” — Dad

I think he says it because he doesn’t know what day it is - he’s got Alzheimer’s. As I was thinking of “unday” I was reminded of a quote from "The Alchemist".

"When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."

My Dad doesn’t fail to recognize the good things that happen. However, you and I might. You and I might experience undays. Today might be an unday for you.

I remind myself that life is like a mosaic. When you’re up close, it’s difficult to truly appreciate the complexity. But step back, and you enjoy a beautiful picture.

Stop having undays.

Step back a bit more, and enjoy.

I spent the night sitting and talking with my sister and my friend of 20+ years.

We sat, we talked, we told stories, and we imagined stories we would tell.

A restful sleep, a lazy morning, and a dream about what stories I might hear today.

The “morning after” carries a negative connotation, but it shouldn’t.

The “morning after” a wonderful moment invites possibilities for more.

Thank you to my friend, and my sister for beautiful conversations.

Today, think of the thing you’ve always wanted to do this year and decide to do it.Next, go to the people you most admire and ask them to hold you accountable for doing that thing.Finally, start doing the thing. If you’re like most people, deciding to do things is easy. And if you’re like most people, telling everybody what you decided, why, and that you’ll be sharing your work with them - that’s hard. Hard because now you need to show up. Now you must persist.Courage and Bravery are the virtues you must summon to persist through the unknown, the daunting, and the things that are bigger than you. It takes a braver and courageous person to put themselves on the hook.I see you. I admire you.