In music, it’s often thought that the best musician ought to be the leader. If only musical skill and managerial ability correlated - but they very much don’t. The best managers were the most effective communicators and enablers of great performance. Outside of music, a manager is no different. They are the enablers of great performance.
Multiple friends of mine have lost loved ones recently. I love those people and I hope they have tons of comfort and support through this journey. While I sat reflecting on the memorial service I attended most recently, I thought… I think we’re missing the point. Think about this…Every day we decide and we act. We put energy into the world and that energy interacts with others. We leave an imprint on them. But while we live, that imprint stays just as it is - like a recession. Then, upon our death, the imprint starts to glow - like a beacon. During the memorial service people spoke about their experience with the person who passed. They spoke about what they loved most; even things that annoyed them most will be things their surviving loved ones will miss. It’s almost as if the imprint that was left on us glows like a beacon signaling, “hey, I’m still here, just now I’m even more alive in you than I was before.”The words that keep coming to my mind are, “death is the birth of legacy.”And if I think about death that way, it makes me love living that much more.
If it’s emotional and important and important and you have the opportunity to decided tomorrow - decide tomorrow. Deciding tomorrow gives you the opportunity to learn more, to develop a more informed opinion. Deciding tomorrow allows what John Steinbeck calls the “committee of sleep” to work the problem.Deciding tomorrow makes your decision about the future and not about the past.But once you decide, act.
I use a daily planner to guide me. However, the last couple of weeks felt like a hurricane. I didn’t keep up with my planner. When I returned to the planner yesterday I thought it might feel like I missed months and months of time… When you get used to a habit, the absence of that habit feels heavy. I was relieved to find that I only missed 5 days. Who knew that 5 days could feel like an eternity?How many other things do we out and over perceive? P.S. Go to bed, Martin.
You get to choose to play or not play. If you’re playing all the time, you get to choose to stop and regroup.If you’ve not been playing for a while, you get to choose to start.Time is short, energy is precious, and all you have is now. Sometimes it’s okay to decide not to play. It’s okay to say - this time is for me, to sit, rest, and be a friend to myself.
On Saturdays I drive to the grocery store. On my way, I always see people walking their dogs. Or, is there dog walking them?Picture a dog. Happy, panting, checking out fire hydrants, excited about a new smell. Oh look! The dog discovered something, it’s tail wagging furiously, it looks up at the owner with that huge dog smile as if to say, “hey hey hey! look at what I found!!!” And there’s the attentive owner. Standing tall, leash in hand, looking down towards the ground, and focused.Many people have become so addicted to their phones that they miss out on what’s happening around them. Missing out on things like the excitement their dogs have discovering new smells. I often wonder if the dogs realize that we’re getting lazy. I wonder if they are walking us. Woof, woof.
To be laid off is shocking. One moment you were living your best life, and then suddenly it was all over. I try to put myself in the shoes of someone that’s been laid off, and I feel a tremendous amount of depression. Similar to how the author of “Everything Happens for a Reason” felt when she discovered she had cancer. A shock. I grew up Catholic. In the Catholic church we celebrate a day called “Ash Wednesday".” During this holiday Catholics attend church so that a priest can mark their forehead with the sign of the cross. That mark is not invisible though.The priest will dip their thumb into a container of ashes made from burnt palm fronds. It signifies death; ashes to ashes. What does this have to do with layoffs?Every day ought to be like Ash Wednesday. We should wake up every day and remind ourselves that this life in could end at any moment. Our job, our loved ones, our health - it all could change. We must allow that mark to act as a kind of lens that brings the present more into focus so that we not only appreciate what’s right in front of us, but so we can prepare ourselves for what might come. Layoffs are shocking, and painful, and my heart hurts for those who have gone through them. I am not naive to think that can’t happen to me. I am trying to live each day as if there was a mark on my forehead. Perhaps there’s something in your life that serve as a mark? A coin, a symbol, a post-it? I don’t take these words for granted, and I don’t take you for granted.Right here right now, you are what matters to me.
Sometimes C+ work is A+ work. The value is truly in the eye of the beholder. If you struggle with shipping less than your absolute best work and the person you’re shipping work to says C+ work is just fine… then C+ work meets the need. Ship it. If you are struggling because the work is not A+, then you’re not serving the person who wants your work; you’re serving yourself. Work to serve others.
Don’t give into it.Even if it feels like the world is ending, the family is coming apart, there' isn’t enough time to get the email out, that work is creeping up on you like a bad joke, or that you are feeling the worst kind of depression… don’t give into it. For many this is a wonderful time. And for many still, it’s a time when energy is at a low. Take care of you!
This week and next week I’ll have attended 2 memorial services. I didn’t lose anybody in my family, but friends lost people. How appropriate that I should have just completed the book that I’ve been gushing over the last two days.
I reflected on both experiences and I realized that I feel a deep sense of “loss.” Loss of what? Time.
Every moment needs to count.
There isn’t enough time for things that don’t add value. And adding value doesn’t mean “there’s something in it for me.” What’s been a value add in the last 24-48 hours?
There wasn’t time to do anything but those things.
When I pass from this world into the next - whatever it may be, I don’t need a memorial. Rather, I hope the people in my life are able to say, “It sucks he’s gone, it will certainly be quieter around here, I’ll miss him giving me shit, and now back to the work the matters.”
There isn’t time for anything else.