Brady Helps

“And indeed the worst of my faults was a certain impatient gaiety of disposition, such as has made the happiness of many, but such as I found it hard to reconcile with my imperious desire to carry my head high, and wear a more than commonly grave countenance before the public. Hence it came about that I concealed my pleasures; and that when I reached years of reflection, and began to look round me and take stock of my progress and position in the world, I stood already committed to a profound duplicity of life.” - Robert Louis Stevenson - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeIf you haven’t read that short story, you must. And you must because what Dr. Jekyll describes above is what you and I live with on the daily - a duplicity of life. A war of good vs evil, indulging vs temperance, justice vs self-preservation, Coke vs Pepsi. Don’t allow the bi-polarity of life to run you from one end of the spectrum to the other. No. Rather, seek balance - find the middle way. Imagine how the story for Dr. Jekyll might have ended if only he sought balance. It likely wouldn’t be the horrific and thrilling story that it’s become. Then again, life (in the aggregate) is rarely that.

People survive the most devasting natural disasters in relatively good psychological shape. But relationships can be destroyed with one wrong word, one single act. - Richard Farson, “Management of the Absurd”Organizations and communities are made up of cooperative relationships between people. Cooperative and trusting relationships are not easily built - they take time, energy, effort, and presence. In spite of all the effort and patience required, a relationship can be destroyed with one single act or word. How many people do you no longer talk with because they upset you? My forming opinion is likely, way back in the past, we were biologically incentivized to look for moments where someone in our community would let us down - our survival was at stake. Nowadays, we don’t depend on people like that to survive - we don’t need that level of bias, but it’s there. Though this might be our un-evolved nature, how might we make it a strength? How might we transform ourselves from being ultra-fragile to being more resilient? How might we transform the proverbial straw that broke the camels back into a reinforced steel beam? I don’t have any answers… I, like you, have too much straw. But, I’m willing to go down the rabbit hole and see where it leads.

Pho is the food you want in the middle of the night after a gig. Pho is the food you need when it’s cold outside and you want a huge bowl of food. Pho is Vietnamese penecillin. You can make Pho too - it’s easy.Slow cook meet for 12 hours.Add onion, spices, ginger, and slow cook again for 12 hours.Here’s the thing about Pho that nobody talks about…Skim your scum.As anybody who’s boiled meat or made broth will tell you, meats (and chickpeas) when heated have proteins that denature and rise to the top of your cauldron in the form of scum. If you want a beautifully clear broth/soup you need to skim the scum off the top.When our life becomes “denatured” how likely is it that our eyes and minds get clouded with scum? Where things just don’t “feel” that clear? Where we feel anxiety and stress because we’re unsure of what to do next?That is scum, and we need to skim it. Pho is one of those food products where gratification will be delayed, and much like you, it is the journey and the effort that matter most. Skim your scum.If you don’t know about Pho - you’re missing out.

Personally, I believe the real benefit of travel is awareness.How people in different places do different things than you.How buildings in different places look different than the places by your home.How food in different places taste different than the food you are used to.I’ve traveled around the world many times, but no matter how much I travel I never cease to be made aware of how little I actually know - and that’s exciting! No matter where you live, what you do, or where you are right now - if you want to find excitement in life, throw yourself head first into the posture of “knowing that you don’t know” and be open to what comes next.

The vacation that your mind wants you to take - a long haul train trip. I just traveled from Chicago to Boston - to quote Bilbo, “there and back again.”Wi-fi on trains sucks - spotty coverage and service. What does that mean for you?Forget about trying to get a lot of work done that requires the Internet;Forget trying to stream the tv shows you’ve been wanting to binge;Forget literally anything that requires an internet connection.I loved it! I read, I looked out the window, and I got to know more what it means to be a friend to myself. You already have all you need to feel contented and satisfied. You don’t need to be connected to be contented.

Someone I met at a conference does motivational speaking, and the phrase she uses in her speeches is, “you’ve got this peanut.”As silly as the phrase is, it brings a smile to my face when I hear it. It’s 1:00am, I’ve worked my ass off, I’m happy, and as I’m closing down for the day and looking at my projects I’m telling myself, “you’ve got this peanut.”Why don’t we say this to ourselves more?

If you’re helping someone get better - feedback, advice, whatever - give that advice in a way that compels that person to respond with, “thanks for looking out for me, I mean that. Thank you.”What do you say to deliver that kind of feedback?There’s no best practice - no “one” script you should use. It’s a matter of heart. Do you care enough about that person that you want to help them reach their objective? If “yes,” then communicate with that as your intention. If “no,” then reconsider. Great feedback is from the heart and compels forward momentum. Great feedback helps someone realize their hope.

I am able to communicate my thoughts to you, schedule their delivery, and you are able to read them on a device of your choosing at a time of your choosing.We are sentient, conscious, and can look to the sky and wonder. Fire can be fashioned. There are cures for diseases once thought incurable. That we are the only species that we know of that can cure disease through our own innovations.Realizing that we matter.That we can store food products we make.We can smile.That Sarah and I realized the fun in uncovering things things we didn’t know that we didn’t know. (HT Sarah)We can create nuanced humor that only those like us can get.Our culture can be documented and preserved for posterity.That we learn, and can learn how to learn better.That we we will disappoint and be disappointed.That we will sleep.That we wake.That we exist.

A good conversation is art - it leaves the conversants wanting more.

What makes a great conversation?

Empathy, curiosity, and a desire to identify and create mutual understanding of things - a form of truth.

reat conversations bring people together, advance culture, and let us know that we’re not alone.

Love and appreciate the people you get to share great conversations with.

You have limits.Time;Energy; andWill.You also have abundance.Decisions;Diversions; andSpace.Learning from the week: don’t run out of one and overuse the other.