Brady Helps

“One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.” - Oscar Wilde, “The Critic as Artist, Part 2.”When someone cuts you off in traffic (my biggest trigger) we’re tempted to think that the person who cut us off is an asshole. (at least I do). “I can’t believe they did that! Who does that person think they are?”Think about that for a moment. For me to be right, this is what would have to happen.The person driving must notice me (personally) in my car and decide to cut me off.The driver will need to gauge my speed and perfectly execute a maneuver into my lane causing me to brake suddenly.That same person would need to see my reaction in order for them to take satisfaction in it.If that person is spending that much time thinking about how they are going to upset my drive, I am worried that they have too much time on their hands. Do you have that kind of time or energy on your hand? The dictates of reason might suggest that what really happened is the driver didn’t notice me and that cutting me off was likely a mistake. They are focused more on themselves than me. When in doubt about another person, consider giving the benefit of doubt first.

Change is never fun, and it’s scary.Change is also the only thing that is constant in this life - there has been, is now, and always will be changed.If change is such a natural part of life, why are we scared of it? Are we scared to live? I spoke with someone today about change. They’re looking at what’s next for them and they’re at a crossroads. They long for something solid to hold on to. They’re afraid. I asked them, “What can you control?”We can’t control the outcomes of our decisions, but we can control how we make them. In addition, we can control how we respond to those outcomes. Put that way, we might have a lot more control than we give ourselves credit for.

Why don’t we ask, what do you want, more often?

Perhaps the question feels flippant or too blunt?

Perhaps the person being asked the question feels too vulnerable?

Perhaps we’re scared to know the answer?

To make the question less jarring and more palatable we could try to:

• Modulate our tone to ask the question in a friendly manner.
• Pre and Post the question a bit , “Good to connect with you again. What do you want? What’s on your mind?”
• Substitute with another question like, “What’s on your mind?”

We help people better when we know what they want.

The forest brims with asymmetry and a diversity of unique flora and fauna. The drivers on the streets of Manila move in no constrained order but find paths of least resistance to propel themselves forward. What makes a beautiful and bubbly sourdough loaf is that asymmetry and chaotic nature of its crumb structure. Randomness, chaos, and asymmetry are causes for a type of awe that too often eludes our grasp. We find ourselves stopped in our tracks, mesmerized by its brilliance, and wondering “how” and “why.”So what does this mean? Stop, still the mind, enjoy the moment, appreciate the awe of chaos, and try to control a little less and just let things be.

You get better when you can learn, and you learn from feedback. You can only get feedback if you put yourself out in the world. The world gives more to you when you give more to it.

Oversimplification is an effective tool for understanding the “jist” of something - allows you can quickly orientate yourself to the world around you. But there’s a drawback.Humans are notorious oversimplifiers - emotions, events, history, our perceptions towards others - everything. In the last week, how many times have you overreacted to the wrong things? Likely, that overreaction was a result of oversimplification. Remember - too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing.

Being creative is not reserved for the savants, the reclusive artist, or the those with a gift. Creativity is simply willing to looking at things using two simple views - closed and open.To look at the world through the closed view is to use a narrow lens, to see things as they are, to declare.The open view is the opposite. To imagine what if, to see alternatives, to strategize, to hold space for possibility. To be truly creative, you must leverage both views. Expansive thinking is great if you can narrow your idea into something executable. At some point, the rubber must meet the road.

Any artist must master their medium.If your art is managing people, what is the medium you use to make that happen? If your art Is music, is your medium your instrument? Your ideas? Your performance?No matter what your art is, you work with a medium to carry your ideas to those you serve.So often, people forget that.They forget they have a medium to master. What’s your medium?

Stress seems to be experienced right before something important happens. Then, the important thing happens, and we seem to laugh about how stressed we became.My thought, why don’t we cut right to the laughter and forget the stress?

I recently traveled to Omaha. I had a connection in Dallas which was 60 minutes, but got cut short to 20 minutes due to delays from Milwaukee. I wasn’t the only one that had a connection.As the plane arrived in Dallas, our connecting city, people got visibly stressed. I imagined they were asking themselves, Will I miss my flight? What if I do? How will I make my meeting? What, another day that I won’t see my loved one? How much more money will I be out? As we began to de-plane, some people barreled their way from the back of the plane in a desperate attempt to the get to the front. I don’t think they realized that their efforts only created a bottle neck which impacted others. Delays are going to happen - that’s part of life. If that’s true, why do we allow ourselves to get stressed? Seneca wrote something like, “Why should I suffer in advance?”I ultimately got where I was meant to go. A few hours later. Alive. Calm.