How are you talking to yourself?
When you run late for meetings, are you cursing yourself for being late?
When you make a silly mistake, are you telling yourself that you're stupid?
When you upset someone, are you telling yourself that you're a terrible person?
The way we talk to ourselves is far worse than how we would let someone talk to us. Why? Because we're self-absorbed.
If I am late for a meeting with the CEO, I might curse myself for being late and update my resume. But if the CEO ran late, I would say, "oh, that's okay - you're a busy person." Why does the CEO get the benefit of my doubt, but I don't? Because we're self-absorbed.
We are self-absorbed in our worlds. We are thinking about how others perceive us if they were us. We are thinking that the person in front of us in line is moving slow to upset us. The people upstairs are making noises to get back at us for making noise earlier. The CEO acknowledged that I made it to the meeting late, and that's their way of telling us that they noticed we were late.
What if the inner dialogue was different?
What if the CEO acknowledged that I arrived late, and it feels good to be noticed?
What if the people upstairs are making noises, and that's okay because I'm sometimes noisy myself?
What if the person in front of us is moving slowly, and next time I'll give myself a few more minutes so that I'm not late?
What if I made a silly mistake, and now I know that I need to chose to be mindful about doing that thing better?
What if you started talking to yourself the way you hope others talk to you?
"If anyone talked to you like you talked to you, you wouldn't be their friend." - Shawn Wells as heard on Intelligence for Your Life (also from Grant Yourself Some Grace)
