A chaplain came to me to offer their condolences. I asked them, how much for two?
Perhaps I am cynical, or maybe I’m just over it. What is the utility of a condolence?
Usually, the condolence includes something like “I’m so sorry for your loss.” But then I think, “what did you do to be sorry?” Also, isn’t a bit presumptuous to believe I’ve lost something?
Death gave me a great perspective and a deep sense of freedom.
I know that at some point I must die. I must go through a fate like my father. And, while I wait for that time to come, I must maximize the time I have now. To continue to live the way my Dad would want. To continue to have his words and advices in my head. He said he would be more alive to me dead than alive, and it’s true. I can’t help seeing and hearing him and his advice in all things. I can’t thank the universe enough for that gift.
I don’t see why someone should be sorry for me, and I don’t see the need for a condolence. I’ve been grieving for years. I’m actually in a pretty good mental health spot. I’ve got a perspective that’s informed by constant reflection, noticing without judging, and grounding myself in a philosophy of life that embraces death and the absurdity of fearing it.
I anticipate my greatest struggle will be not be dealing with death, but dealing with how other people expect me to deal with death…